Christmas break is over -- time for a quiz

I don't know how he does it, but Dennis Cozzalio has once again called class to order and served up a dandy of a final for 2008. Dennis puts these out about three times a year, and I'm always excited for what he cooks up, because each one is harder than the last. Here's my effort:

1) What was the last movie you saw theatrically? On DVD or Blu-ray?
Theatrically -- Synecdoche, New York. DVD -- Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan (my marriage is stronger than ever after introducing my wife to ear bore worms, the Genesis Project and the Moons of Nubia).

2) Holiday movies— Do you like them naughty or nice?
I really don't care for the traditional Christmas classics. I would rather watch Eyes Wide Shut, Black Christmas or Gremlins.

3) Ida Lupino or Mercedes McCambridge?
I'll go with McCambridge for providing a voice to a cherished memory from my childhood: Brad Bird's Family Dog from the series Amazing Stories.

4) Favorite actor/character from Twin Peaks
I have to say it's David Lynch himself as Gordon Cole. His scene in Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me is a riot, and a great way to begin the movie.

5) It’s been said that, rather than remaking beloved, respected films, Hollywood should concentrate more on righting the wrongs of the past and tinker more with films that didn’t work so well the first time. Pretending for a moment that movies are made in an economic vacuum, name a good candidate for a remake based on this criterion.
Get a load of this: Dead Heat, as a remake of Dead Heat and a sequel to Heat. When Lt. Vincent Hanna (Al Pacino) is having trouble cracking a crime syndicate, he brings Neil McCauley (Robert DeNiro) back from the dead using technology pioneered by Roger Mortis (Treat Williams), of Dead Heat fame. While dealing with the fact that he's now a zombie, McCauley finds life on the other side of the law difficult, and soon goes back to his criminal habits by bringing his old gang back ... from the dead! In addition to his usual suspects in L.A., Hanna now has to deal with an army of undead criminals lead by McCauley. It ends with a bang, as Hanna realizes that the best way to defeat a zombie is to become one himself.

6) Favorite Spike Lee joint.
I don't feel that strongly about any of Spike's joints, but I'll say Inside Man for being an original take on the heist movie, with some Hawks-ian influence thrown in.

7) Lawrence Tierney or Scott Brady?
Hard to choose against Tierney, and his late career highlights were superior: Reservoir Dogs, Silver Bullet, even a hilarious guest spot on The Simpsons!

8) Are most movies too long?
Yes. Not too long ago Universal wouldn't let David Lynch cut Dune any longer than 120 minutes, now a studio wouldn't blink at it going over 180 minutes.

9) Favorite performance by an actor portraying a real-life politician.
Daniel Day-Lewis as Bill "The Butcher" Cutting in Gangs of New York ("That, my friends, is the minority vote!").

10) Create the main event card for the ultimate giant movie monster smackdown.
The Ymir from 20 Million Miles to Earth against Thunderlips (Hulk Hogan) from Rocky III.

11) Jean Peters or Sheree North?
Sheree North -- she's Babs Kramer!

12) Why would you ever want or need to see a movie more than once?
Many reasons, but the biggest for me is to re-live the feelings a movie produced the first time I saw it, and possibly find more to love about a movie.

13) Favorite road movie.
It's easy to say Two-Lane Blacktop, so I'll go with PeeWee's Big Adventure.

14) Favorite Budd Boetticher picture.
The only one I've seen is Seven Men From Now, which I loved. I really need to pick up the Boetticher box set that recently came out.

15) Who is the one person, living or dead, famous or unknown, who most informed or encouraged your appreciation of movies?
Roger Ebert. I enjoyed reading movie reviews before I started following Ebert, but it was his reviews that made me seek out older reviews and read about movies I had never seen (or heard of). Even now as I read more critics, I still think my tastes are most closely aligned with his, and I agree with his reviews almost all the time.

16) Favorite opening credit sequence. (Please include YouTube link if possible.)
This took a lot of thought, but right now I think the answer is The Holy Mountain. I think it's actually my favorite part of the movie, bleeding with the warning of "you have no idea what you're in for." Used to be a few clips of it on YouTube, but none are found today.

17) Kenneth Tobey or John Agar?
I'm honestly not familiar with either of these men, but Kenneth Tobey was in a 1977 TV movie called Don't Push, I'll Charge When I'm Ready, a title so cool it has left me speechless.

18) Jean-Luc Godard once suggested that the more popular the movie, the less likely it was that it was a good movie. Is he right or just cranky? Cite the best evidence one way or the other.
I agree that our perceptions of movies are easily colored by popular opinion, here's an example: Roger Ebert (again with Roger Ebert!) called Dune (again with Dune!) the worst movie of 1984, and many other critics followed course. Watching it for the first time this year, I really couldn't see what was so awful about it. I mean, it has a lot of problems, but I still enjoyed watching it. It could have been that everyone was prepared to hate Dune because of its troubled production history, and the fact that a reasonable-length movie couldn't possibly do the book justice.

19) Favorite Jonathan Demme movie.
Neil Young: Heart of Gold.

20) Tatum O’Neal or Linda Blair?
I just watched Tatum O'Neal in the Faerie Tale Theatre version of Goldilocks and the Three Bears. She does a good Goldilocks.

21) Favorite use of irony in a movie. (This could be an idea, moment, scene, or an entire film.)
I love this question. My first instict was to say Tati's Playtime, since it's essentially a celebration of irony and the comedy of everyday life. For one crushing example of irony, I'll say the ending to Bicycle Thieves.

22) Favorite Claude Chabrol film.
It appears I've never seen a Chabrol film, but it seems obvious that my favorite would be Les Biches (based on the awesome title).

23) The best movie of the year to which very little attention seems to have been paid.
Though I didn't see many movies this year, The Visitor is one I enjoyed immensely and should be seen by as many people who saw The Dark Knight.

24) Dennis Christopher or Robby Benson?
Dennis Christopher was in Dead Women in Lingerie, Robby Benson wasn't.

25) Favorite movie about journalism.
Lot of contenders here, and I'm down to two: Ace in the Hole (for its utopian view of small market newsrooms in the 50s) and Zodiac (for its realistic depiction of a huge newsroom in the 70s).

26) What’s the DVD commentary you’d most like to hear? Who would be on the audio track?
Another hard one, how about Sergio Leone (in broken English) on any of his films, or better yet Stanley Kubrick on 2001 or The Shining. There's so few interviews with both of those directors, and I would love to hear them in their own words talk about their films.

27) Favorite movie directed by Clint Eastwood.
Play Misty for Me.

28) Paul Dooley or Kurtwood Smith?
Kurtwood Smith, if for no other reason than my longstanding code of never doing anything that would make Kurtwood Smith mad at me (same for Michael Ironside).

29) Your clairvoyant moment: Make a prediction about the Oscar season.
Synecdoche, New York wins for something, the acting Oscars don't go to anyone playing a historical character.

30) Your hope for the movies in 2009.
To see more of them.

31) What’s your top 10 of 2008? (If you have a blog and have your list posted, please feel free to leave a link to the post.)
I honestly don't think I saw many more than 10 new movies in 2008. I'll probably release my top 10 for that year in 2012. I'll come back and edit this post, promise.

BONUS QUESTION (to be answered after December 25):

32) What was your favorite movie-related Christmas gift that you received this year?
Two that stand out: Emmet Otter's Jug-Band Christmas (had never seen the whole thing, damn what a great Christmas movie) and the new Criterion edition of Bottle Rocket, a great movie and Wes Anderson always gives us outstanding special features.

25 pretty maids, all in a (vertical) row

Thanks to the egostatic Bill R. for tagging me with the latest meme, listing your 25 favorite actresses (as started by Nathaniel R.). I wasn't sure if I could come up with 25, but after reading through the fun lists from Jonathan Lapper, Jeremy Richey, Kimberly Lindbergs, et al, I had to give it a go. The choices for my list weren't strictly for their acting ability, but more for the fact that they're all actresses I enjoy watching for one reason or another.

Catherine O'Hara

Kim Novak

Veronica Lake

Alida Valli

Barbara Steele

Nancy Allen

Melody Anderson

Mariette Hartley

Shirley MacLaine

Kathleen Turner

Karen Allen

Julie Christie

Claudia Cardinale

Jennifer Jason Leigh

Jamie Lee Curtis

Hazel Court

Goldie Hawn

Laura Dern

Jena Malone

Katy Jurado

Angela Bassett

Anjelica Huston

Angie Dickinson

Amy Sedaris

Isela Vega

Thanksgiving in Nilbog

With family coming over this weekend, I had been thinking for weeks about what I could pick for a perfect Thanksgiving movie. This lead to further pondering about what qualifies as a Thanksgiving movie. Then today, it suddenly struck me: Troll 2. Think about it, here are the main themes of the movie:

1. Family comes before everything.
2. This includes friends.
3. In fact, don't even waste your time making friends, because you shouldn't spend any time with them.
4. Vegetarians are evil, and maybe not even human.
5. Pastries are also evil.
6. Also, fruit.
7. When in doubt (or peril), eat meat.

If you're one of the unlucky ones who hasn't seen Troll 2, be thankful that I'm providing you with these filling screencaps:

The 10 Best 'Treehouses of Horror' Tales

One of the unsung accomplishments in The Simpsons long run on Fox is its place in television Halloween history. The annual Treehouse of Horror episode, which debuted on Oct. 25, 1990, has to be considered one of the best and most successful Halloween traditions in TV history. The standard adopted on that initial ToH -- three vignettes mocking horror movies or ghost stories -- has never been altered, and along the way it has produced some of the most memorable Simpsons moments.

It's easy to associate ToH with Halloween, but in fact it has aired only twice on Oct. 31, in 1991 and 1999. Some seasons have even delayed the Halloween episode late in November (2004 was a lowpoint, with ToH airing on Nov. 7). No matter when it airs, it doesn't feel right to miss a new ToH episode, and some Fox affiliates still air a string of the Halloween episodes on the holiday's date. So in honor of The Simpsons' 20th season and Halloween, here are my 10 favorite Treehouse of Horror tales:

10. The Thing and I

Treehouse of Horror VII
Aired: Oct. 27, 1996
Inspired by: The Hunchback of Notre Dame, Basketcase, Do You Know Where Your Kids Are? (Freddie's Nightmares episode)

A great attempt at creating actual scares, "The Thing and I" is surprisingly creepy with an effective twist ending. While investigating strange sounds from the attic, Bart, Lisa and Maggie discover empty shackles and a shadowy figure before being scared away. After pressing for answers, Homer and Marge confess that Bart was actually one half of conjoined twins, and the evil twin has spent his life living in the attic.

9. I've Grown a Costume on Your Face

Treehouse of Horror XVI
Air date: Nov. 6, 2005
Inspired by: Halloween III: Season of the Witch, The Masks (Twilight Zone).

Maybe the most underrated ToH tale, "I've Grown a Costume on Your Face" draws some inspiration from the above sources, but is mostly original. When a Springfield costume party awards first prize to a woman dressed as a witch, it is discovered she is in fact an actual witch. Since she is not technically in costume, her award is withdrawn, and in retaliation the witch casts a spell on the city -- turning them into their costumes. This produces some interesting results: Apu is now R2D2, Flanders is a daisy, and Patty and Selma each have half of a horse's body. Maggie is the town's only hope, since she was wearing a witch's costume herself, but what spell will she cast?

8. Citizen Kang

Treehouse of Horror VII
Air date: Oct. 27, 1996
Inspired by: V (tearing off aliens' masks)

A brilliant story in lieu of that year's election, "Citizen Kang" gives us the familiar Kang and Kodos who kidnap candidates Bill Clinton and Bob Dole. The aliens impersonate the politicians, leading to several laugh out loud moments: "Always twirling toward freedom!" "Abortions for some, miniature American flags for everyone!" "What about a third party candidate? Go ahead, throw your vote away!"

7. The Shinning

Treehouse of Horror V
Air date: Oct. 30, 1994
Inspired by: The Shining

A mostly excellent Kubrick satire, continuing a running gag of this episode where Willy is murdered in each tale. Good (if not obvious) casting makes this one memorable: Willy as the groundskeeper, Moe as the bartender, and of course Mr. Burns as the resort owner.

6. The Bart Zone

Treehouse of Horror II
Air date: Oct. 31, 1991
Inspired by: It's a Good Life (Twilight Zone)

This tale pounces on the meaty potential of the source material and produces one of the funniest ToH vignettes ever. Bart, as the boy who can alter anything with his mind, routinely changes history with his wrong test answers (America's name is suddenly changed to "Bonerland"), and keeps everyone in Springfield walking on eggshells. I would go so far as to say "The Bart Zone" does a better job with the story than The Twilight Zone, as it expands the reach of the boy's powers to the whole world, and not just a small farming neighborhood ("You know what we say anytime something weird happens, 'that's very good!'")

5. Dial Z for Zombies

Treehouse of Horror III
Air date: Oct. 30, 1992
Inspired by: Pick your zombie movie.

"Dad, you killed the Zombie Flanders!"
"He was a zombie?"
The Simpsons served up hilarious zombie satire way before Shaun of the Dead made it cool.

4. King Homer

Treehouse of Horror III
Air date: Oct. 30, 1992
Inspired by: King Kong

Simply one of the funniest 7 minutes in Simpsons history, "King Homer" is amazingly funny on every level. This also contains one of my favorite deliveries in the series' history, as Mr. Burns says to Marge: "We wouldn't think of going anywhere without the bait -- that is the bath....ing...beauty...the bathing beauty! I covered that up pretty well!" This tale could have gone No. 1 easily, but gets bumped down because it doesn't really have a horror or Halloween tone to it.

3. Nightmare on Evergreen Terrace

Treehouse of Horror VI
Air date: Oct. 29, 1995
Inspired by: A Nightmare on Elm Street

This one starts off with a bang, as we find ourselves in a dream of Bart's where he's animated Looney Tunes-style. It's a fun moment, and a great way to illustrate an animated character's dream. Willy plays Freddie in this one, a spot-on take-off of Nightmare on Elm Street, complete with a very cinematic climax and what-the-hell twist ending.

2. Hungry are the Damned

Treehouse of Horror I
Air date: Oct. 25, 1990
Inspired by: To Serve Man (Twilight Zone), This Island Earth

A fall-down funny satire of The Twilight Zone's most famous episode, featuring one of the show's best-ever gags. After being abducted by seemingly nice aliens, Lisa becomes suspicious when they're fed banquet after banquet and regularly weighed. The curious Lisa finds a cookbook called "How to Cook Humans," which after removing some space dust becomes "How to Cook For Humans," then "How to Cook Forty Humans," before the complete title is revealed. This was also part of the very first ToH, and it still holds up as one of the best of the Halloween series (the other two tales, "Bad Dream House" and "The Raven," are equally strong).

1. Terror at 5 1/2 Feet

Treehouse of Horror IV
Air date: Oct. 28, 1993
Inspired by: Nightmare at 20,000 Feet (Twilight Zone)

You could make the case for many of the entries on this list as No. 1, but this tale will always be at the top of my list. Like "Hungry are the Damned," it takes excellent source material and turns it on its ear, putting a genuine Simpsons stamp on a high-grade horror tale. Along the way there are many classic moments: Hans Moleman as the AMC Gremlin driver, Homer stealing an air horn and life jackets from the dock ("it was just sitting in some guys boat!") and the thoroughly satisfying ending ("right or wrong, you didn't follow the rules -- perhaps spending the rest of your life in an insane asylum will teach you a lesson!").