Sunday, December 28, 2008

The New Year Movie Resolution Meme

I think it's fair to say that I've been in a bit of a rut lately as far as new posts go. The holiday season can bring strange occurrences, such as a baby shoving a slice of birthday cake bigger than his head into his mouth. And there is the inevitable post-holiday hangover, like a baby that still smells like frosting two days after eating said cake. I don't think I'm the only one who's become a bit stagnant this month, so with that in mind I'm bringing you a new meme to help ring in 2009. Here are the rules:

1. Post a list of nine movie-related resolutions for the new year. These can be as serious or light-hearted as you want them to be, and it also gives you a topic at the end of the year to post about when you take a look back at the resolutions.

2. Tag five other people with completing this meme.

3. Link back to my blog in your post so I can keep track of how many cool people are going along with this, and also for the purpose of compiling a list of the most interesting resolutions.

Before my resolutions, I taggeth thee:

Fletch at Blog Cabins
Bill at The Kind of Face You Hate
Fox at Tractor Facts
Jim at The Moviezzz Blog
Piper at Lazy Eye Theater

Here are my resolutions:

  1. Watch at least two of Steven Seagal's venerable direct-to-video movies.
  2. Start taking advantage of Netflix's on demand movie library.
  3. Watch a Guy Maddin film.
  4. Find a way to see JCVD.
  5. Finally finish my post about Duck, You Sucker!, which I started almost a year ago.
  6. Give The Magnificent Ambersons another chance.
  7. Same with Magnolia.
  8. See at least two foreign films a month.
  9. Find a way to watch Assault on Precinct 13 on Blu-Ray, preferably without having to buy a Blu-Ray player.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

'Teen Wolf' fans come in all shapes and sizes

I nearly spit out my wassail when I saw "inspired by the movie Teen Wolf" at the tail end of an NFL newsbit on ESPN's bottom line. What in the world could anything in today's NFL have to do with the innocent hijinks of Teen Wolf? The answer was more bizzare than I ever could have imagined: Tampa Bay defensive tackle Greg White had changed his name to Stylez G. White:

White said he picked his new name from a character in the 1985 movie “Teen Wolf,’’ starring Michael J. Fox.

“That was his best friend’s name,’’ White said. “I always liked that name. It’s not that I don’t like Greg White.’’

I love that last part about not liking his previous name. Shouldn't we hope there was at least some extra motivation toward changing his name, beyond the fact that he "always liked" Styles' name?

Since the Stylez G. White incident scores sky high on the unlikely-ness scale, could these sports-movies collision headlines be far behind?

"Bill Parcells abruptly announces 'He's come home' at press conference."

"Tim Duncan getting the band back together; Blue Lou, Mr. Fabulous next on his list."

"Donovan McNabb seen pondering futility of humanity on a rainy rooftop while holding a dove."

"Tiger Woods drops out of tournament to spend more time looking for mysterious 'Arch Stanton' grave."

Thursday, December 11, 2008

25 pretty maids, all in a (vertical) row

Thanks to the egostatic Bill R. for tagging me with the latest meme, listing your 25 favorite actresses (as started by Nathaniel R.). I wasn't sure if I could come up with 25, but after reading through the fun lists from Jonathan Lapper, Jeremy Richey, Kimberly Lindbergs, et al, I had to give it a go. The choices for my list weren't strictly for their acting ability, but more for the fact that they're all actresses I enjoy watching for one reason or another.

Catherine O'Hara

Kim Novak

Veronica Lake

Alida Valli

Barbara Steele

Nancy Allen

Melody Anderson

Mariette Hartley

Shirley MacLaine

Kathleen Turner

Karen Allen

Julie Christie

Claudia Cardinale

Jennifer Jason Leigh

Jamie Lee Curtis

Hazel Court

Goldie Hawn

Laura Dern

Jena Malone

Katy Jurado

Angela Bassett

Anjelica Huston

Angie Dickinson

Amy Sedaris

Isela Vega

Monday, December 08, 2008

Everywhere I look, I see 'Total Recall'

I've got a terrible condition: I see the world through a Total Recall filter. It affects my daily life. Whereas most people want to visit Hawaii or Europe on vacation, I want to go to Mars. Yes, I'm aware of the recent violent uprisings on Mars, and the tenuous oxygen situation, but that's just where I want to go. It's even worse when my family actually goes on a vacation, because I insist on dressing up as a 6'3'' fat redheaded woman, who's only staying for "two weeks."

Worse yet, I'm beginning to see any movie as Total Recall. Take for instance my recent viewing of Wall-E, which just looked like Total Recall to my damned eyes:

I know there's a cure, but I fear that it's simply more Total Recall.

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Thanksgiving in Nilbog

With family coming over this weekend, I had been thinking for weeks about what I could pick for a perfect Thanksgiving movie. This lead to further pondering about what qualifies as a Thanksgiving movie. Then today, it suddenly struck me: Troll 2. Think about it, here are the main themes of the movie:

1. Family comes before everything.
2. This includes friends.
3. In fact, don't even waste your time making friends, because you shouldn't spend any time with them.
4. Vegetarians are evil, and maybe not even human.
5. Pastries are also evil.
6. Also, fruit.
7. When in doubt (or peril), eat meat.

If you're one of the unlucky ones who hasn't seen Troll 2, be thankful that I'm providing you with these filling screencaps: