FRIDAY SCREEN TEST: Scott Knopf

Not only does He Shot Cyrus feature one of the best banner images of any blog out there (can I get that on a ... coaster?), but the posts are of similar quality. But be forewarned: you will learn things about Scott Knopf that you can't un-learn, like the fact that he would go gay for Sidney Poitier, or that Last House on the Left would be his choice for a romantic evening (Mr. Poitier, please take note). But most of Scott's writing is wholesome stuff, as evidenced by his too fun take on Villains Robin Could Beat, and his casting decisions for The Office movie (my favorite contribution to Piper's Bizarro Days Blog-a-thon, and no that doesn't mean it's my un-favorite).

EARLIEST MOVIE-WATCHING MEMORY: 'In 1990, my parents took me to see the re-release of The Adventures of Milo and Otis. It's a Japanese live action film starring two non-CG, non-talking animals as they go on an adventure. Dudley Moore does all the narration. From then on, I was hooked.'

LAST DVD YOU BOUGHT: 'Actually, it's been a great month. Twin Peaks: The Definitive Gold Box Collection for my girlfriend's birthday and the Dirty Harry Box Set for me, both of which are mind-blowingly amazing. I'd been waiting for a re-release of the Dirty Harry movies for years.'

IF YOU WERE A TCM GUEST PROGRAMMER, WHAT THREE MOVIES WOULD YOU CHOOSE: '1. The Warriors (1979) 2. Assault on Precinct 13 (1976) 3. Night of the Living Dead (1968). Three low budget suspense films with a contained timeline, 24 hours or less! All three of these movies are so rad. A group of people find themselves in a shitty situation and they've got to deal with it. The Warriors would definitely be my deserted island movie.'

FAVORITE MOVIE ENDING: 'Alfred Hitchcock's The Birds. No one figured out a way to defeat the birds. The birds are here to stay. All you can do is slowly drive away and hope they decide to leave you alone. Incredible.'

WHAT MOVIE ARE YOU ASHAMED TO SAY YOU HAVEN'T SEEN, AND WHAT'S YOUR EXCUSE: '2001: A Space Odyssey. I've been working my way through the AFI Top 100 and I keep coming back to this one. As amazing as it will be once I finally watch it, the idea of spending 160 minutes on a spaceship doesn't sound like my ideal afternoon.'

PICK ONE OF THE FOLLOWING FOUR MOVIES AND WRITE TWO SENTENCES ABOUT IT:
The Goodbye Girl
Working Girl
Funny Girl
Jersey Girl -- 'You're probably expecting me to write about the Kevin Smith movie. I prefer the Jami Gertz version!'

WHO WOULD YOU AWARD AN HONORARY BEST ACTOR/ACTRESS OSCAR TO: 2003 was a great year for female performances. Salma Hayek playing Frida Kahlo, Julianne Moore in Far From Heaven, the Zellweger/Zeta-Jones duo in Chicago, and Nicole Kidman in The Hours. Kidman went home with the Oscar but if I had done the voting things would have turned out a little differently. And the Oscar goes to... Diane Lane in Unfaithful! I've championed for Miss Lane for a very long time and watching her get so close to the gold only to have it stolen away from her was a travesty. Unfaithful is an incredible film and her performance knocks the pants off of some fake-nose donning Virginia Woolf. Sorry, bit of a sore subject.'

LAST TIME YOU WERE AT A DRIVE-IN, WHAT DID YOU SEE: 'Here's my moment of shame. I've never been to a drive-in. By the time I drove, all theaters with driving distance were closed. There's rumors that the last remaining one is shutting down soon. I keep meaning to take a trip down there but it just never happens.'

FILM ERA OR GENRE YOU'RE A LITTLE OBSESSED WITH: 'Action films from the 70s. The Warriors, Marathon Man, The Taking of Pelham 123, Death Wish, The French Connection. I love them all. There's just something stunning about 70s cinema. The colors, the wardrobe, the dialogue. We'll never get back there, as far as I'm concerned, not if Michael Bay has anything to say about it.'

FILM CRITIC YOU TRUST THE MOST: 'My girlfriend, Whitney, who writes over at Dear Jesus. We met in grad school (Cinema Studies) and now we do most of our movie watching together. I'm always blown away at how she picks up on things that flew right over my head.'

FAVORITE BOOK ON THE SUBJECT OF FILM: 'Going back to 70s film, I am in absolute physical love with Easy Riders, Raging Bulls. It's the funniest, most informative, entertaining book on film I've ever read. After reading this, my fear of meeting Dennis Hopper tripled.'

DESCRIBE THE FREQUENCY OF YOUR FILM INTAKE: 'Honestly, it's usually morning, noon, and night. I'm studying film in San Francisco, so my days are filled with movies. When I get home, more movies. I own 1,200 DVDs and get 4 DVDs at a time from Netflix. It never seems to be enough. I also go to the theatres a couple times a week. In fact, after I finish this e-mail, it's off to see The Visitor. San Francisco is my movie mecca.'

THREE THINGS YOU'VE LEARNED FROM WATCHING MOVIES:
1. Subtitles should not be feared.
2. Black-and-white should not be feared.
3. Dennis Hopper should be feared...so should Gary Busey.

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