FRIDAY SCREEN TEST: Pacheco

Visiting Pacheco's Bohemian Cinema is similar to wandering into a high-end men's hat shop in Vienna. Both of them have the look and feel of luxurious craftsmanship, but while the Austrian hat salesman will say "Let me show you the kind of hat that helped launch M. Emmet Walsh's career," Pacheco will say "Can I interest you in a tour of Boogie Nights' best close-ups, an honest review of The Office: Season 3, or perhaps even a spirited defense of Any Given Sunday?" Pacheco's writing reflects his Web site's tasteful ambiance, with satisfying reviews that often question popular opinions. So take a visit to Bohemian Cinema -- because unlike that high-end men's hat shop in Vienna, it's open 24 hours.

EARLIEST MOVIE-WATCHING MEMORY: 'When I was just a couple of years old, I remember sneaking into the living room while my older brothers and uncles were watching Just One of the Guys. I remember a surprising amount of details about the film, especially the language and the nudity. And it was only PG-13!'

LAST DVD YOU BOUGHT: 'I don't buy too many DVDs anymore since subscribing to Netflix, which is a shame. But the other day I convinced my girlfriend to let me buy Curb Your Enthusiasm: Season 5 at a vastly reduced price. My next acquisition? I'm eyeing that Dance Party USA/Quiet City set. I've seen the latter of the two, and it's got a special place in my heart. '

TURNER CLASSIC MOVIES RECENTLY WRAPPED UP A MONTH OF GUEST PROGRAMMING, IF YOU WERE A GUEST PROGRAMMER WHAT THREE MOVIES WOULD YOU PICK TO BEST REPRESENT YOUR TASTES, OR A FAVORITE GENRE OR THEME: 'I'm thinking of a "Was it worth it?" motif. There's City Lights. You can ask The Tramp if all of his trouble was worth giving a girl her sight, and he'd say it absolutely was. Annie Hall is a different take on the question, asking whether the doomed relationship was worth the trouble. Alvy confirms that it was, at the very end, when he says "I guess we keep goin' through it because most of us... need the eggs." And A.I.: Artificial Intelligence, such an underrated film (flawed but bold), asks the little robot boy if his odyssey through cities and centuries was worth the one, final day he'd get to spend with his mother. As she lays in bed that evening and softly tells David that she loves him…as the tear rolls down his cheek (and mine) – yes, it was worth it. And he'd do it again if he had to. A.I. may not be a film played on TCM, but who cares?
FAVORITE GROSS-OUT MOMENT: 'It would have to be in Kill Bill Vol. 2, when The Bride plucks out Elle Driver's remaining eyeball, drops it on the floor, and squishes it between her toes. My goodness! That's the only time I've ever physically applauded a film in a movie theater. I could not believe what I had just seen, and I could not stop laughing.'

WHAT MOVIE ARE YOU ASHAMED TO SAY YOU HAVEN'T SEEN, AND WHAT'S YOUR EXCUSE: 'Before I incriminate myself too much by listing several of the candidates, I will just admit to having never seen Young Frankenstein. Why? No reason, really. I hear it's one of the funniest films ever, but I just keep forgetting about it. Yet whenever someone asks me if I've seen it, I never have the heart to tell them "No." So I just end up saying "Yes," then nodding and smiling when they throw quotes at me. I'll often add a very fake chuckle as well.'

PICK ONE OF THE FOLLOWING FOUR MOVIES AND WRITE TWO SENTENCES ABOUT IT:
The Black Hole
War Games
Airport -- 'Having never seen Airport, I wonder if viewing it will further enhance the already-hilarious Airplane! I think I'd rather hold off and just enjoy Airplane! as it is….
McClintock!'

FAVORITE KIND OF MOVIE TO REVIEW: 'Ones I've seen several times, no matter the genre. The awesome part is when I find a new spin on something I've known so well for so long (like finding parallels between Starship Troopers and the War in Iraq).'

LAST TIME YOU WERE AT A DRIVE-IN, AND WHAT DID YOU SEE: 'Sadly, I've never been to a drive-in. If it's any consolation, I'd really like to open one up some day…'

FILM ERA OR GENRE YOU'RE A LITTLE OBSESSED WITH: 'I've been on somewhat of a horror kick lately, and that's very odd, because growing up I was never allowed to see horror films, and they never really interested me anyway until now.'

LAST TIME YOU VEHEMENTLY DISAGREED WITH SOMEONE OVER THE SUBJECT OF FILM: 'Well, I recently argued with my brother over American History X; it's one of his favorite films and I think it's utter junk. But more recently we got into a debate of whether Zoolander's roommate (Meekus) had an accent or not. I was convinced he didn't, but I now think I'm incorrect….'

FAVORITE BOOK ON THE SUBJECT OF FILM: 'Didn't you hear what Steve Jobs said? People don't read anymore!'

DESCRIBE THE FREQUENCY OF YOUR FILM INTAKE: 'I watch something every day, but lately my viewing habits have presented me with more TV shows than actual films. I tend to watch a few episodes of a show, and then perhaps one film after that, and then some more TV or another movie once my girlfriend has gone to bed. The problem is that most of the time, these shows or movies are ones I've already seen.'

THREE THINGS YOU'VE LEARNED FROM WATCHING MOVIES:
1. All films are subjective in almost every sense -- and I don't like that.
2. If I'm going to be opinionated about a film, I better be prepared for the fact that a few years down the road, I'm going to look back at myself and think, "What an idiot."
3. Most movies are made for stupid people, and vice versa.

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