Bad boy in the house

Earlier this month I wrote about my 12 Must (somehow Sees) -- rare or hard to find movies I long to view. I had little hope of watching any of these movies, but that was before good samaritan and all-around awesome blogger Marty McKee basically gave me a "step inside my office." Through Marty's goodwill, I will be able to cross two of those movies off my list, including the one I had most wanted to see -- Bad Ronald. A 1974 television movie, it seems like I've been aware of Bad Ronald for a long time, though I'm not sure when I first learned about it. I had high expectations for this movie, and am happy to say that they were largely exceeded.

Based on the book by the same name, Bad Ronald stars Scott Jacoby in the titular role as a sweetly weird teen who has a very bad 18th birthday. Lots of people have had miserable birthdays, but few of them can say they accidentally killed an adolescent girl on their big day. After blowing out the candles on his cake and re-affirming his desire to be a doctor with his clingy Mom (Kim Hunter!), Ronald is flush with confidence and heads out to ask mean girl Laurie Matthews on a date. This goes badly, as Ronald is laughed out the door by Laurie and her friends, and in his haste to get home, Ronald collides with Laurie's little sister Carol on a sidewalk. Things quickly get worse as Carol starts making fun of Ronald and his mom, and in his desire to get an apology from the girl, she falls down and hits her head on a cinder block.

Naturally, Ronald finds a shovel and buries the dead girl, which as Mom will later tell him was not a bright idea. Mom is of course heart broken at the news of her son being a murderer, but also strangely delighted, as Ronald now won't be able to study in college and leave her alone. Mom's big plan is simple yet dramatic: she and Ronald will construct a hidden "lair" in their house for him to hide out in while the mess dies down. Using Ronald's "incredible" tool kit that he just opened as a birthday present, the Good Family erects a mock wall over the door to a bathroom ala Dawn of the Dead, adds a secret entrance in the neighboring pantry -- and Ronald's new life has just begun.

It's these scenes of Ronald's new captive life where I thought Bad Ronald was at his best. Jacoby is well cast as a dorky teen shut-in, and we see that he doesn't exactly share his mother's enthusiasm for her hideaway plan. As Ronald's mother, Hunter is the best thing the movie has going for it, growing increasingly creepy in her transition from mother to warden. In her brief interactions with Ronald in the lair (as she refers to it), Mom is quick to shut the door on her son and remind him how stringently they must stick to their plan. Ronald's new dwelling also allows him ample time to tend to his literary creation of Atranta, a Tolkien-like fantasy world complete with life-size illustrations. This subplot is really our only clue to Ronald's label of being weird, but it never feels natural.

So everything's going just fine until Mom goes in for surgery and doesn't come back. In fact, the next visitors to the house are realtors who are trying to sell it. Ronald is soon joined in the house by a "they all were blonde, like their mother" nuclear family, helmed by Dabney Freaking Coleman. It's not long before the family notices missing food and strange noises, leading them to believe that the house is haunted. Ronald takes some delight in being the ghost of the house, and gradually loses his grasp on reality. When the youngest daughter finds herself alone in the house, Ronald takes the opportunity to cast her as the princess of Atranta, and hijinks ensue. The family's eventual discovery of Ronald and his lair is played out perfectly, and is probably the movie's best (and scariest) moment. For the genre, the ending is pretty by-the-numbers, but it doesn't take anything away from the previous 70 minutes.

I had hoped Bad Ronald would combine the sensibilities of a made-for-TV movie, with a highly creepy story that could have come from a Stephen King short story. While obviously hampered by time constraints and content sensitivity, Bad Ronald is never boring and packs in a few honest scares with a constant air of creepiness (my wife surrendered 30 minutes in, proclaiming it "too creepy"). With a longer running time would have served it well, as we barely see any of Ronald before the accidental murder, and never really get to know him as a normal kid. What Bad Ronald does best is maintain a consistent ghost story/urban legend feel, it's the kind of story you heard at the playground that's "totally true."

'Yo sound the bell, school's in, sucka'

So it's been almost a month since the good professor Dennis Cozzalio assigned his latest questionnaire, Dr. Zachary Smith's Lost in the Space at the End of Summer Movies Quiz. My tardiness on turning this in is on-par with everything else I'm trying to do lately, but as always, Dennis has outdone himself with this quiz. Stop over at Sergio Leone and the Infield Fly Rule for more interesting answers, and even more stimulating posts.

1) Your favorite musical moment in a movie
Two moments immediately spring to mind: the opening scenes of Danger: Diabolik and the opening credits-strutting of The Wild Bunch. Ennio Morricone's Diabolik score isn't for everyone, but I can't get enough of it, particularly the early scenes where we're introduced to Diabolik, Eva and their underground lair. At first I found the opening song "Deep Deep Down" to be annoying, but today I sometimes find myself humming it, and there are few electric harmonies better than when we meet Diabolik and Eva on their bed full of money. The beginning notes to The Wild Bunch are so perfect with Jerry Fielding's militant percussion and tense strings, giving you the impression that something big is about to go down. Fielding's guitar-strum conclusion matches up masterfully to Pike Bishop's terse "if they move, kill 'em!"

2) Ray Milland or Dana Andrews
Andrews, for his great performance in one of my favorite movies, The Ox-Bow Incident.

3) Favorite Sidney Lumet movie
Fail Safe. It's helped by my love for Dr. Strangelove, for which it serves as an interesting chaser, but it's also just so damn scary and contains one of the most petrifying endings I've ever seen.

4) Biggest surprise of the just-past summer movie season
Ummm, maybe the fact that I didn't see any theatrical releases during the summer? We thought about taking my then 7-month-old son to Wall-E, but he would have spent the whole time grabbing at a nearby person's hair, or desperately grabbing for a loose popcorn kernel.

5) Gene Tierney or Rita Hayworth
I'll take Tierney, obviously for Laura, but also for her nice appearance in Advise & Consent.

6) What’s the last movie you saw on DVD? In theaters?
Last night I convinced my wife to watch my new HD-DVD of Forbidden Planet, but I don't think the Krell drew as much sympathy from her as they did from me. In theaters, you'll have to go all the way back to In Bruges, seen at my favorite Portland theater -- Cinemagic.

7) Irwin Allen’s finest hour?
Beyond the Poseidon Adventure, who else could come up with a sequel like that? "They go back into the ship, and there's plutonium onboard!"


8) What were the films where you would rather see the movie promised by the poster than the one that was actually made?
I've probably given this question more thought than all the others. One that stands out for me is the original poster and similar teaser trailer for The Fifth Element, which was simply a shot of space with "It Mu5t Be Found" on it and a date. The title wasn't even revealed, but it inspired a lot of intrigue. The movie was okay, but I was expecting a lot more after reading those four words on the poster.

9) Chow Yun-Fat or Tony Leung
Having recently watched the Infernal Affairs trilogy, I'll have to say Leung.


10) Most pretentious movie ever
I would actually say The Royal Tenenbaums. Like all of Wes Anderson's post-Bottle Rocket movies, it's a celebration of pretentiousness (pretentia?), and all the comedic potential it presents.

11) Favorite Russ Meyer movie
I'm utterly devoted to Beyond the Valley of the Dolls. If I had my choice, The Carrie Nations would play at my funeral.

12) Name the movie that you feel best reflects yourself, a movie you would recommend to an acquaintance that most accurately says, “This is me.”
I've said before that Holly Martins (Joseph Cotten) in The Third Man reminds me more of myself than any other movie character. I can't really put my finger on any one quality I share with him, but I see a lot of myself in the way he views the world and where he fits into it.

13) Marlene Dietrich or Greta Garbo
I honestly don't have too much of an opinion about either one, but Dietrich supplied one of my favorite lines: "What does it matter what you say about people?" (Touch of Evil).

14) Best movie snack? Most vile movie snack?
There's something comforting about the sound Raisinets make inside that movie theater box. You don't get it in a box anywhere else, and you really don't buy Raisinets anywhere but a theater. Most vile snack would have to be the movie theater nachos with awful nacho cheese and jalapenos. Gutter-quality nachos are bad enough to ruin a good movie.

15) Current movie star who would be most comfortable in the classic Hollywood studio system
Val Kilmer still looks like he could be a character in a classic film noir, and he obviously has great comedic chops. I'm sure he could have found himself a few (hundred) roles in the old studio system.

16) Fitzcarraldo—yes or no?
Yes! I didn't even realize this was a question. Not my favorite Herzog film, but a great cinematic achievement that still deserves to be marveled at.

17) Your assignment is to book the ultimate triple bill to inaugurate your own revival theater. What three movies will we see on opening night?
This would have to be three movies I would do anything to see on the big screen: Vertigo, Beyond the Valley of the Dolls, Point Blank.

18) What’s the name of your theater? (The all-time greatest answer to this question was once provided by Larry Aydlette, whose repertory cinema, the Demarest, is, I hope, still packing them in…)
The Screen.

19) Favorite Leo McCarey movie
Duck Soup

20) Most impressive debut performance by an actor/actress.
Since I saw it only recently, I'm going with Matt Dillon in Over the Edge. Dillon was 15 and discovered at his high school for the role, which was maybe the best of his career, and one of the most definitive in the late 70s/early 80s teen rebellion movies.

21) Biggest disappointment of the just-past summer movie season
See question 4.

22) Michelle Yeoh or Maggie Cheung
I'm getting killed by these actor A or B questions this time, another one I really don't have an opinion on.

23) 2008 inductee into the Academy of the Overrated
Though I haven't seen it (see question 4), it seems likely The Dark Knight will eventually be labeled "overrated" for how much praise it's received.

24) 2008 inductee into the Academy of the Underrated
I'll say In Bruges: it's the only 2008 movie I've seen this year, and I liked it.

25) Fritz the Cat—yes or no?
God yes, I'll even give thumbs up to the sequel.

26) Trevor Howard or Richard Todd
Trevor Howard played one of the Krypton elders in Superman: The Movie. Edge: Trevor Howard.

27) Antonioni once said, “I began taking liberties a long time ago; now it is standard practice for most directors to ignore the rules.” What filmmaker working today most fruitfully ignores the rules? What does ignoring the rules of cinema mean in 2008?
It's so easy for me to say David Lynch, he writes his own rules and we're just trying to keep up.

28) Favorite William Castle movie
Battle of Rogue River, I've never actually seen it, but I've traveled many miles of the Rogue and would love to see what locations he used for the movie.

29) Favorite ethnographically oriented movie
The Big Lebowski

30) What’s the movie coming up in 2008 you’re most looking forward to? Why?
Hmmm, what else is coming out this year? I'll say Miracle at Saint Anna.

31) What deceased director would you want to resurrect in order that she/he might make one more film?
It would be fascinating to see what Sergio Leone would offer up.

32) What director would you like to see, if not literally entombed, then at least go silent creatively?
Whoever those idiots are behind all the Epic/Disaster/Shitty Movies. Just enjoy your money and live a rich life without inflicting any more pain on this world.

33) Your first movie star crush
Meg Ryan, at the height of her cuteness in Innerspace.

Trailer vs. Trailer

Today I present two trailers for upcoming movies, one that surprised me at how good it looked and one that looks shockingly bad:

As a football fan, I usually find myself bitching about football movies, instead of trying to enjoy them. It's probably the same way with glass movers and car chase movies. There's always something with the football part of it that's enough to drive me crazy, and keep me from enjoying it. It's rare I find myself looking forward to a football movie, but that's exactly the case with The Express: The Ernie Davis Story. For college football fans, there's a lot to like here: the name (nice retro structure), an authentic CGI recreation of Syracuse's defunct Archbold Stadium, and the fact that it's based on Davis, one of history's greatest forgotten football stars. But what really pleases me is the way the movie's trailer is handled, that is they leave out any mention of Davis' tragic final chapter.

Davis was the first black player to win the Heisman Trophy, then tragically died from leukemia two years later, never playing a down of pro football. It would be easy to show in the trailer that the movie ends up being a weepie, but the images are all about action and Conquering Obstacles. In an age where all of Tropic Thunder's funny lines are put in the trailer, I find this refreshing.

Now for something completely revolting: Lakeview Terrace. This movie brings to the forefront the fear of many people: living next door to Samuel L. Jackson ... the cop ... who doesn't like interracial marriage. I can understand why this movie was made -- since 2008 was in fear of not having a Sam Jackson Screams movie, and the perils of interracial marriage is a topic everyone likes examining. Oh, and it's PG-13. Has it won you over yet? See if you can count how many lines in the trailer make you grit your teeth, I got 9 (my favorite: "I'm a cop, you have to do what I say!"). The scene with Jackson trying to cut down their trees looks promising.

A Los Angeles Crime Saga

In 1995, a great deal was made about how Heat would be the first pairing of actors Al Pacino and Robert DeNiro in a movie. Thirteen years later, we have Righteous Kill again showcasing the two actors, and I've heard exactly zero buzz about the movie. You could say this disinterest is due to the falling popularity of the two actors -- owing some to the passage of time, and most to their own doing -- but it probably has more to do with how generic Righteous Kill looks from the previews (or maybe the fact that they play characters named "Turk" and "Rooster"). With Heat it was Pacino-DeNiro, but also director Michael Mann diving into a canvas as large as Los Angeles itself, creating a giant world we spend nearly three hours in, yet still feel to have only seen a few nooks and crannies of it.

Pacino and DeNiro have had their moments since Heat (Cop Land, Insomnia), but it looks doubtful that either actor will top the roles of Vincent Hanna and Neil McCauley. The latter is my favorite DeNiro character, completely inhabiting the idea of a man who is always someone else -- essentially playing an actor. Right from the start we see exactly who McCauley is, just from the way he's walking and his gaze constantly darting, confidently strolling through a hospital in a paramedic uniform and making off with an ambulance. We get a few peeks at McCauley's personality through the film, but most of all we see a lifetime criminal who knows his success depends on himself not existing -- never getting close to anyone, or drawing any attention to himself beyond that of an anonymous bystander. The role suits DeNiro's acting style perfectly, as he's at his best when communicating without words. It's also worth noting that DeNiro has perhaps never looked as good outside of Heat, physically he looks much slimmer than his usual self, and he simply appears as the last person you want to disappoint or double cross.

Pacino's character of Lt. Hanna resembles many of the actor's stereotypical roles of hot-headed, fly-off-the-handle eccentrics, but Mann puts him in a setting that makes it work. In the DVD documentary, Pacino said an underlying theme with the development of Hanna was to play him as if he was a cocaine addict, although it would never be touched on in the film. Watching the movie with this in mind, it's easy to see how Hanna has something else in his system pushing him, but it's also plausible that his redline behavior is a side effect of law enforcement success. Hanna gets results, but he also exhibits some of the qualities of McCauley, notably how he must hide his emotions even in situations where there is only one human way to react: like when he meets the mother of a murdered prostitute at the scene of the crime.

Mann's main theme in Heat seems to be how similar the two sides are. McCauley and Hanna are both surrounded by a team of professionals who take orders from their leader, but still seem like an indestructable group of friends who will only let death get in the way of their goals. The cameraderie and drive of Hanna's group makes for one of my favorite moments in Heat: at the precinct when Det. Casals (the always great Wes Studi) gets the bank heist tip and just shouts out the bank name and time. Everyone in the room knows exactly what he's talking about and immediately springs into action. The group's spontaneous reaction feels real, and ratchets up the tension leading into the raucus heist scene.

The equivalent of this moment for McCauley's crew still brings chills to me. Sitting in a greasy spoon diner before embarking on their daring daylight bank heist, McCauley gets word that Trejo (Danny Trejo, of course) can't shake the police on his tail and is out as driver for the job. Amazingly, McCauley spies a man behind the restaurant's grill from his past: Donald (Dennis Haysbert), an old crony he met in prison. Before this point we had been following Donald's journey to make an honest living after being released from prison, but what he found was near-slave labor in the diner, working below minimum wage. McCauley approaches Donald and asks him point blank if he can be the driver ... today ... "yes or no." Donald steps back to think, knowing the decision will forever alter his life, good or bad. "Yeah." Donald throws his hairnet to the ground and shoves his asshole boss to the floor (Bud Cort!). The character and story of Donald is the most heart-wrenching in Heat, he's not the caliber of criminal as McCauley and Co., but he's also trying to get out of that life and obviously has someone who loves him and wants to see him succeed. Post-prison, Donald sees nothing in front of him but a hot grill and tiny paychecks, and in McCauley he sees an opportunity. When his girlfriend/wife (is she ever named?) sees Donald's face in the news report after the heist, I can barely watch it.

The most infamous scene in Heat remains the much-talked about coffee sit-down between Hanna and McCauley. I have to say, this scene never really did much for me, the best part is simply Hanna's decision to confront his adversary, and the way Mann films their highway meet-up. In a movie filled with great musical cues, this Freeway Oddysey is the biggest highlight for me. Showcasing Moby's adrenaline-pumping New Dawn Fades, we fly through a glowing Los Angeles freeway through Hanna's mile-a-minute eyes. Like few can, Mann completely fuses his imagery to Moby's song, and gives us one of Heat's trademark scenes. I still put it on occasionally just for that 1-minute trip.

Now THAT's cover art!

Why can't I stop looking at this DVD cover? Why did it take me this long to actually see this amazing illustration? Why don't one-sheets feature actual illustrations any more? Why are amazing one-sheets like this ever NOT used for the DVD cover, as opposed to some Photoshop hack job? Damn that looks good.

12 must (somehow) sees...

Niceguy Joseph Campanella of Cinema Fist was nice enough to tag me with the latest 12 Movies meme, and I'm hear to spread the love even further. A spinoff of Piper's 12 Movies Meme, the Holy Grail List is different in that you're selecting 12 hard-to-find movies you haven't seen (full rules at the meme's birthpalce, The Dancing Image). I like this idea, and I only had to cheat a little bit to come up with my 12:

• Frog Dreaming (1986, aka The Quest) -- The only movie on this list I've actually seen. This Australian kids adventure flick used to be on regular HBO rotation in the late 80s under the U.S. title The Quest. Nowhere to be found on DVD (even in Australia, apparently), this is a creepy little movie about a nerd in a small town who investigates the local myth about a lake-dwelling monster. After a little poking around, it's actually on YouTube in multiple parts, beginning here.
  
  
• Night of the Creeps (1986) -- Heard a lot about this Fred Dekker effort, starring Tom Atkins and Dick Miller, and riffing on horror and B-movies in general with an Invasion of the Body Snatches-ish plot. Not available on DVD, but if Monster Squad can make it, why not this?
  
  
• Bad Ronald (1974) -- TV movie about a disturbed kid who accidentally kills a classmate, and rather than go to jail, mommy hides him in the basement. Things get interesting when ma dies and a new family tries to move in. This one sounds right up my alley, and with TV movies starting to appear on DVD, maybe there's new hope for this one.
  
  
• Summer of Fear (1978) -- Another TV movie, this one brought to my attention by the good guys at Kindertrauma. Summer of Fear is about the one fear we all share: that weird country cousin is actually a witch.
  
  
• Phantasm II (1988) -- As a big fan of the original, I've been wanting to track down this one for a long time, unfortunately it's not available on Region 1 DVD (part of the legendary Region 2 "ball set").
  
  
• Great White (1980) -- Enzo Castellari's shark movie resembles Jaws, in the illegal way. Universal successfully sued and was able to get it pulled from theaters shortly after its release, and it's never gotten (and likely never will) get a legal release on video. I'm just curious what it looks like, since there are many movies that resemble Jaws: does it feature Sheriff Crody? Mr. Squint? I want to know.
  
  
• Santa Sangre (1989) -- Alejandro Jodorowsky's last real movie was made in the tradition of his great surreal masterpieces like The Holy Mountain and El Topo. Not available on DVD.
  
  
• Dune (1984, David Lynch cut) -- Universal has supposedly tried to get Lynch to sign off on a director's cut of the film, but his hard feelings from the project have not softened. I enjoy the theatrical cut, but it's clear that most of the movie is edited as basically a montage of a much longer cut. But in its current form, very little of Lynch's version remains -- even the opening credits don't look like something Lynch would do.
  
  
• The Movie Orgy (???) -- Dennis Cozzalio had a beautiful writeup of experiencing Joe Dante's wondrous Movie Orgy, an endless string of movie, TV and commercial clips spliced together. Impossible to release on any home video format, I'll have to catch a rare screening someday.
  
  
• Fitzcarraldo (1980, early version) -- As chronicled in the epic documentary The Burden of Dreams, this Werner Herzog classic began with Jason Robards in the title role and Mick Jagger (!) as his assistant, Wilbur. Nearly half the movie was shot in this configuration, but Robards became intensely ill and doctors orders kept him out of the Amazon. Jagger's schedule wasn't able to accommodate the delay, and we were still given a great movie with Klaus Kinski picking up the title role. I'm curious what Robards would have done with the role, and what Jagger's character was like.
  
  
• Noon Wine (1966) -- After the epic failure and disastrous production of Major Dundee, Sam Peckinpah went back to television and crafted this adaptation of Katherine Anne Porter's short novel, starring Jason Robards and Olivia de Havilland. Just an hour in length for ABC's Studio 67, Noon Wine is an interesting examination of social justices and prejudices, with many saying it's Peckinpah's most intimate work. The piece's critical reception led to Warner Bros. approaching Peckinpah for what eventually became The Wild Bunch. Amazingly, it's only viewable through the Library of Congress and the Museum of Broadcasting.
  
  
• Looking for Mr. Goodbar (1977) -- I've been interested in this movie ever since Kim Morgan posted her thoughts on it (las I am with just about every movie Kim likes). Diane Keaton stars as a woman whose search for the perfect man goes downhill and very dark.

Now to tag some unsuspecting blogs with this fun meme. Looking forward to these folks' Holy Grail list:

Joseph B at itsamadmadblog2
Jeremy Richey at Moon in the Gutter
Moviezzz at The Moviezzz Blog
weepingsam at The Listening Ear
Piper at Lazy Eye Theatre

Not so fast, Obama

Congratulations, Mr. Obama, you’ve accepted the presidential nomination of the Democratic Party. But why all the celebrating? I hope you’re not forgetting this little matter of the Test of the Burning Blades, are you? Have you forgotten that our nation was put under a curse millennia ago by a Chinese god, and the only way to appease him is by electing a—

What? That was just a misunderstanding? No more Test of the Burning Blades? Then why are we still funding the test and subjecting thousands of people to burnt and cut hands?

OK, so you don’t have to worry about that one, Mr. Obama, but you do know that anyone who comes to Denver (where the Treemen reside) must battle the Wood Beast, right? It’s a simple game, just stick your hand into one of these knotholes – your fate will guide you. And I don’t need to remind you that the Wood Beast’s sting is so –

No -- the Wood Beast is an endangered species now? Exploiting its deadly sting is no longer an option? What am I going to do with this giant stump?


Yes, Mr. Obama, luck seems to be on your side tonight. But there's no luck to be found inside The Cave, in there is only what you can take with you --

You're kidding, why is there an old couch inside the Cave? And a Wii is set up in there too? Goddammit, what good is the Cave if there's more inside than just what you can take with you?


So it seems like you're getting off pretty easy, Barack -- or are you? You may not know that to leave this stadium, you have to leap from the Lion's Head in a Test of Faith, you'll see that --

No. No, no, no, no. The Leap of Faith got shut down? Bunch of tourists from Nevada fell to their death? Why did they keep trying? Just exit from the loading dock. Congratulations on your nomination. Good luck giving your acceptance speech without the blessing of the Jade Monkey.

The 20 best 'Simpsons' gags (Part 2)

Read Part One here.

10. Boo-urns

The Episode: A Star is Burns (Season 6)
The Setup: Mr. Burns' self-serving A Burns for All Seasons draws boos from the crowd at the inaugural Springfield Film Festival.
The Joke:

BURNS: Smithers, are they booing me?
SMITHERS: Uhh, no they're saying "Boo-urns, boo-urns."
BURNS: (to crowd) Are you saying "boo" or "Boo-urns"?
(crowd boos louder)
HANS MOLEMAN: I was saying "Boo-urns."

Notes: A wonderful play on the tired "Bruuuuuce" (not "boo") chant for Bruce Springsteen, this is joke is a classic and it wouldn't have worked with any character but Hans Moleman. Who else would have been saying "Boo-urns"? Only the man whose submission to the film festival was a short starring himself getting hit in the groin by a football.

9. The College Application Photo

The Episode: Homer Goes to College (Season 5)
The Setup: Homer must return to college to retain his job, and applies to Springfield University.
The Joke: (See above) Homer underestimates the importance a college applicant's picture plays in getting admitted, and the university officials don't even bother to look at his application after seeing this horrid picture.
Notes: The sight of this picture still makes me laugh, it's beyond perfect on every level. There are, of course, innumerable examples of Homer's gluttony -- but shoving a birthday cake (with candles) into your mouth ... and with the shamelessness to do it right in front of a camera? I love how he even has red eyes, and that his party hat is perched so precariously on his head.

8. Elvis Does Not Approve

The Episode: The Front (Season 4)
The Setup: Bart and Lisa are bored over the declining quality of Itchy & Scratchy episodes, so they decide to write their own, set in a barber shop.
The Joke:

BART: Itchy takes out a bottle of barbecue sauce and pours it on Scratchy's head, then he takes out a box of flesh-eating ants, and the rest writes itself!
(the ants reduce Scratchy's head to a skull, and Itchy raises the barber chair through the ceiling, putting Scratchy's skull inside the television of Elvis).
ELVIS: Eh, this show ain't no good (shoots Scratchy's skull inside television).

Notes: When this episode first aired, I think this moment made me laugh harder than at any moment in my life. The sheer vulgarity and ridiculousness of the Elvis twist was too much for me to handle. It would be easy to say that the Elvis character is just some guy dressed up as Elvis, but I think this episode was made around the time rumors of Elvis still being alive were popular. Apparently he lives above a mouse-run barbershop, and he shoots his TV when he doesn't like the show. Fantastic.

7. Vengeful Big Brother

The Episode: Brother from the Same Planet (Season 4)
The Setup: To get back at Bart for having a big brother mentor, Homer sets out to become a big brother himself.
The Joke:

WOMAN: Why do you want to become a big brother?
HOMER'S BRAIN: Don't say revenge, don't say revenge, don't say revenge...
HOMER: Uh, revenge?
HOMER'S BRAIN: That's it, I'm outta here (we hear the sound of a car driving away)
WOMAN: (scanning list that includes malice, spite and revenge) Welcome aboard!

Notes: Revenge takes many forms, including the act of mentoring a disadvantaged child. Not only do we get the delicious insanity of Homer's "brain" getting the hell outta Dodge, but the amazing twist of "spite," "malice" and "boredom" also being acceptable reasons for a man wanting to be a big brother.

6. Judge Snyder's Dog (son)

The Episode: Marge in Chains (Season 4)
The Setup: After Marge is arrested for shoplifting, the Simpsons once again hire attorney Lionel Hutz, who is confident about the case until he sees what judge is assigned to it.
The Joke:

HUTZ: Oh no, we've drawn Judge Snyder.
MARGE: Is that bad?
HUTZ: He's had it out for me ever since I kinda ran over his dog.
MARGE: Really? That's terrible.
HUTZ: Well, replace "kinda" with "repeatedly," and "dog" with "son."

Notes: One of the hardest aspects of putting together this list was narrowing down the best Lionel Hutz moment, because you really can't go wrong with any of them. "Judge Snyder's Dog" ultimately won out because it sublimely combined Hutz's trademark lunacy with a surprising amount of heinous violence.

5. Homer as Mr. Burns

The Episode: Blood Feud (Season 2)
The Setup: Homer takes out his anger toward Mr. Burns by writing a hateful letter to his boss, but later decides not to mail it. Unfortunately, Bart has already put the letter in the mail, leading Homer to desperate attempts to intercept it.
The Joke:

HOMER: Hello, I'm Mr. Burns, I believe you have a letter for me.
POSTAL WORKER: Okay, Mr. Burns, what's your first name?
HOMER: I don't know.

Notes: If you know this gag, then you know this print representation of it does it no justice. This is all about Homer's delivery, as he uses quite possibly the worst fake voice ever to impresonate Mr. Burns. But what kills me about this gag is the timing of the final line, Homer never even stops to think what Mr. Burns' first name is.

4. Message from Vera

The Episode: $pringfield (Or how I learned to stop worrying and love legalized gambling) (Season 5)
The Setup: After being turned away for a job at Mr. Burns' casino, Bart vows to open his own casino. Things at Bart's casino go swimmingly, especially since he can attract top talent like Robert Goulet (via intercepting him at the airport).
The Joke:

GOULET: This is the casino? I think I should call my manager.
NELSON: Your manager says for you to shut up!
GOULET: Vera said that?

Notes: The final four entries on this list can all make a case for being No. 1, and for a long time I considered this my favorite Simpsons joke. I love Nelson's line, does he say that just because he's being Nelson, or does he have a genuine interest in seeing Goulet perform at Bart's tree house casino? Goulet's delivery is also great, he's actually wondering if Vera called and told him to "shut up."

3. Bare Cupboard Pie

The Episode: $pringfield (Or how I learned to stop worrying and love legalized gambling) (Season 5)
The Setup: Marge becomes addicted to gambling, leaving Homer and the kids to cook and clean for themselves while she feeds her new habit.
The Joke:

LISA: There's nothing to eat for breakfast.
HOMER: You gotta improvise, Lisa: [mixing ingredients] cloves ... Tom Collins mix ... frozen pie crust ...
LISA: Maybe mom just doesn't realize we miss her. We could go down to the casino and let her know ...
HOMER: Oh come on, Lisa, there's no reason to [takes bite] ... let's go see mom.

Notes: This joke still makes me laugh out loud. It's so impossibly ridiculous that on the occasion it pops into my head I just start laughing (my wife has learned to stop asking). Cloves!? It's also amusing that the Simpsons even have Tom Collins mix in their house, how did that get in there?

2. Evil Frogurt

The Episode: Treehouse of Horror III (Season 4)
The Setup: At Bart's birthday party, Homer realizes he forgot to buy a present. Slyly escaping, Homer stops at the aptly-named House of Evil to seek out a gift.
The Joke:

HOMER: Do you sell toys here?
SHOPKEEPER: We sell forbidden objects from places men fear to tread. We also sell frozen yogurt, which I like to call 'frogurt'!
HOMER: I'm looking for a present for my son.
SHOPKEEPER: (holding Krusty doll) Take this, but beware it carries a terrible curse!
HOMER: Ooooh, that's bad.
SHOPKEEPER: But it also comes with a free frogurt!
HOMER: That's good!
SHOPKEEPER: The frogurt is also cursed.
HOMER: That's bad.
SHOPKEEPER: But you get your choice of topping!
HOMER: That's good!
SHOPKEEPER: The toppings contain potassium-benzoit.
HOMER: ...
SHOPKEEPER: That's bad!
HOMER: Can I go now?

Notes: This one briefly flirted with being No. 1, it's just the epitome of a perfect Simpsons gag: taking a routine joke to another plane of surreal hilarity, with flawless timing and delivery. And admit it: have you really looked at frozen yogurt toppings the same way since this episode?

1. Buying Illegal Fireworks

The Episode: Summer of 4 ft. 2 (Season 7)
The Setup: On vacation at Flanders' beach home, Homer is intent on celebrating the Fourth of July with illegal fireworks.
The Joke:

HOMER: Hmm, I bet this place sells illegal fireworks ... just act casual, like you buy them all the time.
Yeah, uh, why don't you give me that porno mag ... bottle of Old Harper ... box of condoms ... some panty shields ... illegal fireworks -- and a disposable enema. Meh, make that two!
EMPLOYEE: Sorry sir but the sale of illegal fireworks is strictly forbi -- (notices customer leaving) come with me.
MARGE: (later, seeing what Homer bought) Hmmm, I don't know what you have planned for tonight, Homer, but you can count me out.

Notes: There was really never any doubt with me about where this one would land. At the conception stage of this project, I immediately had three gags in my head that I knew would be somewhere in the top 5, but this one would definitely be at the top. Where else would you find a gag of this caliber? It cannot be charted. This joke has taken on a life of its own within my family, sometimes adding "two disposable enemas" at the end of a grocery list. I think the most brilliant part is Marge's reaction, which happens a couple scenes later.

The 20 best 'Simpsons' gags (Part 1)

Next month will mark the 20th season of The Simpsons, and to celebrate the historic mark I embarked a month ago on ranking its 20 best gags. Arriving at 20 was not easy, and deciding on a final ranking of the 20 meant many tough choices. In weeding out the hundreds of elite gags from The Simpsons, I settled on a fairly basic criterion: the gags had to be a great representation of Simpsons' trademark humor, which is so often imitated, and also staying power -- able to make you laugh years later after you've heard it countless times.

What I found after arriving at the top 20 was that not every popular character was represented (no Troy McClure, no Willy, no Ralph), and that many of the consensus top episodes also did not make the cut (my three favorite episodes fall into this category). So no bias was given to characters and episodes, but I can't say the same for the seasons that are represented. Try as I did, I just couldn't find any worthy gags from the last several seasons to put on the list, not to say there weren't contenders. This could be due to the high level of gags from The Simpsons' golden age in seasons 3-6, when the show was writing its own standards of humor, before trying to live up to those standards in later seasons. On this list you'll find some well-known gags, a few you might have forgotten about, and a handful of underrated gems. Some of the entries have accompanying video clips, via Fox's Hulu.com (Simpsons clips on YouTube usually vanish after a couple days).

Today also marks the third anniversary of DVD Panache. My first post was about The Simpsons, it wasn't very good, but it was a beginning. And now here I am three years later with The Simpsons again. Enjoy the list:

20. 100 Tacos

The Episode: Bart the Fink (Season 7)
The Setup: After the passing of their Great Aunt Hortense, the Simpsons family gains a modest inheritance of $100 each.
The Joke:

MARGE: What are you going to do with your money, kids?
BART: There's a special down at the Taco Mat: 100 tacos for $100. I'm going to get that.
(Later, as Bart spies the Taco Mat)
COMIC BOOK GUY: (wheeling out 100 tacos) This should provide adequate sustenance for the Dr. Who marathon!

Notes: One of the most vicious of all the Comic Book Guy jokes, I love the idea of 100 tacos for $100 being a "special" at Taco Mat, since tacos cost about $1 in most parts of the world. According to the The Simpsons Guide to Springfield, this deal offers the consumer $5 in savings.

19. Earl Warren, stripper?

The Episode: Itchy & Scratchy: The Movie (Season 4)
The Setup: As Bart is once again destroying the Simpsons residence, Marge comes home to see Homer oblivious to the situation.
The Joke:

MARGE: Do you want your son to become Chief Justice of the Supreme Court, or a sleazy male stripper?
HOMER: Can't he be both, like the late Earl Warren?
MARGE: Earl Warren was not a stripper.
HOMER: Marge, now who's being naive?

Notes: The genius of this joke lies in the subtle build-up. In this episode we learn of Homer's strangely impressive knowledge of the Supreme Court, which adds another layer to his ridiculous Earl Warren comment. When hearing that Bart could turn his poor grades around and earn a spot on the highest court, he easily lists his favorite justices, and later mentions Justice Suiter. The care given to setting up this short joke is something you rarely see on television.

18. Steamed Hams

The Episode: 22 Short Films About Springfield (Season 7)
The Setup: Preparing for a nerve-wracking dinner with Superintendent Chalmers, Principal Skinner is horrified to see his roast go up in smoke. When Chalmers inquires about the smoke, Skinner assures him that it is in fact steam, from the steamed clams he was making. With a burnt roast in the oven, Skinner rushes to Krusty Burger for a dinner that is definitely not steamed clams.
The Joke:

SKINNER: Superintendent, I hope you're ready for mouth-watering hamburgers.
CHALMERS: I thought we were having steamed clams.
SKINNER: Oh, no, I said "steamed hams." That's what I call hamburgers.
CHALMERS: You call hamburgers steamed hams.
SKINNER: It's a regional dialect.
CHALMERS: Uh-huh, what region?
SKINNER: Uh, upstate New York.
CHALMERS: Really. Well, I'm from Utica and I never heard anyone use the phrase "steamed hams."
SKINNER: Oh, not in Utica, no; it's an Albany expression.
CHALMER: I see.

Notes: The finest example of Skinner embarrassing himself in front of Chalmers as a result of his own good intentions. What makes this exchange so perfect is the delivery of Chalmers' final line -- it sounds like he's on the verge of believing Skinner's B.S. It's also hilarious how Chalmers reacts to the Skinner's initial "steamed hams" revelation, treating it somewhere between pathetic and amusing.

17. The Jazz Umbrella

The Episode: 'Round Springfield (Season 6)
The Setup: Bleeding Gums Murphy recalls his jazz mentor, Blind Willie Witherspoon.
The Joke:

WILLIE: I've been playing jazz for 30 years and just can't make a go of it. I want you to have my saxophone.
MURPHY: That's not a saxophone, it's an umbrella.
WILLIE: You mean I've been playing an umbrella for 30 years?
MURPHY: We all thought it was kinda funny.
WILLIE: That's not funny.

Notes: Another in a long list of jazz bashings from "Round Springfield," the Jazz Umbrella gag is one of the better flashbacks that permeated Season 6 (this joke device would be famously copied by Family Guy). Willie's final line could have only come from Simpsons writers.

16. Jeremy's Iron

The Episode: Lisa's Rival (Season 6)
The Setup: After meeting her intellectual rival, Alison, Lisa is invited over to the girl's house, where she meets her father.
The Joke:

TAYLOR: Hi Lisa, I'm Alison's father, Professor Taylor, I've heard great things about you.
LISA: Oh really, I--
TAYLOR: Oh, don't be modest. I'm glad we have someone who can join us in our anagram game.
ALISON: We take proper names and rearrange the letters to form a description of that person.
TAYLOR: Like, uh ... Alec Guinness.
ALISON: (thinks) ... Genuine class!
TAYLOR: Ho, ho, very good. All right Lisa, how about ... Jeremy Irons.
LISA: Umm, Jeremy's ... Iron?
TAYLOR: Well,... that is very good ... for a first try. You know what? I have a ball, perhaps you'd like to bounce it?

Notes: This gag's greatness is almost as unbelievable as Alison's anagram wizardry. The Simpsons has a long history of viciously skewering the over-educated (as you will see in this feature), and this gag is one of the best of that class. What I love about this exchange are Taylor's choices in the game, picking out Guinness and Irons off the top of his head. Since he's a stuffy professor, the first names he can think of are celebrated British actors.

15. Naked Lunch Date

The Episode: Bart on the Road (Season 7)
The Setup: After securing a fake I.D., Bart and friends embark on a journey of adult-oriented activities, and their first stop is a movie clearly not suitable for children. But as Nelson points out as they exit the theater, the David Cronenberg movie is guilty of a little false advertising.
The Joke:

NELSON: "I can think of at least two things wrong with that title."

Notes: The premise of going to see an inappropriate movie is overflowing with potential, and the result is miles from predictable. For anyone familiar with Cronenberg's movie, or William S. Burrough's novel, this joke reaches milk-out-your-nose funny: Naked Lunch features talking typewriters, lots of bugs and women getting shot in the head ... but sadly no women of the naked variety. Jokes like this one helped The Simpsons transcend its animated family show medium, as clearly this was aimed far above the heads of kids dancing The Bartman, or even their older siblings.

14. Krusty's Koffee

The Episode: Radioactive Man (Season 7)
The Setup: With Hollywood in town to film the much-anticipated Radioactive Man movie, Springfield rolls out the red carpet. Some local talent will be utilized, and surely that includes famed actor Krusty, right? Unfortunately, the role of Crispy the Clown has already been filled, and Krusty is forced to beg for a bit part. When the movie's hugely expensive centerpiece stunt goes down in acid ("real acid"), the production looks doomed, and there are also more pressing concerns ...
The Joke:

KRUSTY: "I want to talk about this coffee!"

Notes: This is an underrated gem that over the years has become one of my favorites, from one of the series' all-time best episodes. The build-up to this joke is similar to No. 19, with the seed planted much earlier, except this one has a greater payoff. In seeing Krusty in full "Dr. Clownius" costume, we learn that Krusty somehow secured a role in the film, and has taken his trademark wannabe-Hollywood abrasiveness ... well, Hollywood.

13. Two Ruined Jackets

The Episode: Secrets of a Successful Marriage (Season 5)
The Setup: In order to gain respect, and silence complaints that he's mentally slow, Homer offers his marital expertise as an instructor of an adult education course.
The Joke:

HOMER: Look everyone, now that I'm a teacher I've sewn patches on my elbows!
MARGE: Homer, that's supposed to be leather patches on a tweed jacket, not the other way around. You've ruined a perfectly good jacket.
HOMER: Ah, incorrect Marge -- two perfectly good jackets! (Homer holds up tweed jacket where the patches were cut).

Notes: Homer's understanding of academia includes the fact that he is now able to correct his peers in a scholarly manner. It should have been a given that as a teacher, Homer would utilize a pipe, but it still adds another awesome layer to this joke.

12. Meet Cerberus

The Episode: The Itchy & Scratchy & Poochie Show (Season 8)
The Setup: With ratings sagging, The Itchy & Scratchy Show needs revamping -- namely, a new character. In a meeting with Krusty and the show's writers, a savvy marketing executive spells out exactly what she has in mind.
The Joke:

KRUSTY: Whaddaya got in mind, a sexy broad, a gangster octopus?
MEYERS: No, no, no. The animal chain of command goes mouse, cat, dog. (To writers) D-O-G.
WEINSTEIN: Uh, a dog? Isn't that a tad predictable?
LADY: In your dreams. We're talking about the original dog from hell!
OAKLEY: You mean Cerberus?

Notes: An offshoot of The Simpsons' self-deprecating humor was the show's lampooning of its own writers, portraying them as Ivy League shut-ins (with at least half of that statement being true). The underlying gag is that a show like Itchy & Scratchy would need a team of writers at all.

11. Stringent Usury LawsEpisode: Lisa's Pony (Season 3)

The Setup: Desperate to regain Lisa's affection, Homer decides to finally buy her a pony -- which don't come cheap. Homer has no choice but to ask for a loan from his employee credit union, where he meets a familiar face.
The Joke:

HOMER: Mr. Burns, you do this personally?
BURNS: Oh it's a hobby, I don't do this for any personal gain, heavens no. By the way are you acquainted with our state's stringent usury laws?
HOMER: Usury..?
BURNS: Oh, silly me, I must have just made up a word that doesn't exist! Now, what is the purpose of this loan.
HOMER: I want to buy a pony...
BURNS: Isn't that cute! Smithers, he wants to join the horsey set. That is it, isn't it? You're not planning to eat it?
HOMER: No, no, I need to get it for my little girl because she doesn't love me any--
SMITHERS: Shut up Simpson. Do you have any collateral?
BURNS: Oh Smithers, don't be so cold -- his spirit is my collateral. Now just sign this form (laughing maniacally). Ahem, sorry, I was just laughing at something funny Smithers said today.
SMITHERS: I didn't say anything funny, sir.
BURNS: (under breath) Shut up!

Notes: I love this side of Mr. Burns, at once sarcastic, vindictive and playful. It's also apparent from his tone that Mr. Burns is just a little bit scared that Homer was asking for a $5,000 loan so he could purchase and slaughter a horse for his own insatiable appetite.

Tune in Monday for Part 2!

My friends treat me like I'm a guest

So if you knock on ol' Piper's door during the next couple weeks, don't be surprised if it's me or Fox who comes to answer. Yup, we're keeping watch over Lazy Eye Theatre while the proprietor sorts out some problems with his finances in the Cayman Islands. It took me awhile, but I finally got my fill of Piper's backyard carousel (where'd you find a calliope that size?), and sat down to some housekeeping business. My first post at Lazy Eye is a Top 5 Tuesday entry on The Impossible. I'll have a few more bits and pieces over there through next week, so stop by (and does anyone know how to cook an omelet with ostrich eggs? I swear that's all he has).

In other news ... did you spy the teaser to your right? That's right, Friday will see me unveil my long awaited blog project.

Heading up north for some quiet time

So you may not see much of substance around here for a little while, and I actually have a good excuse. I'm still working on my Big Blog Project, which will definitely debut sometime this month. I'm not at liberty to discuss the details (trademarks, legalese and what not are still pending), but you'll know it when it hits. So until then I'm laying low, but I'll still welcome any random acts of monetary kindness if you feel the situation warrants it.

The Greatest Thing Ever!

Thanks to weepingsam for pointing me toward The Greatest Thing Ever, also known as The Parallel Universe Film Guide. Did you know that in the Parallel Universe, D.O.A. is titled Eh...What Are You Gonna Do? and is summarized as:

Man is injected with poison that will kill him in 24 hours. He searches for the person responsible, gives up, has last meal surrounded by family and friends, dies peacefully.

Most curiously, the Parallel Universe rates its movies on a 10-star scale, with the full rating reserved for Unquestionable Masterpieces (as opposed to nine and a half-star movies, which are "masterpieces with minor questions"). Of course, there are also parts of the Parallel Universe that we may never understand -- such as the wonder of The Kid With Damp Clothes (1948) or The Plumber Grew Quills (1959) -- and that's where the Parallel Universe Film Guide comes in. Though it's obviously still combing through this ever so similar universe, the PUFG has unearthed many finds.

The PUFG is hilarious, but it's also quite a challenge for film fans -- can you recognize many of the movies? It's too addicting to just keep hitting the "random page" button again and again. My favorite so far is probably At Least I Have a Hobby (1931), but I know that will change in about an hour.

There's too many great entries in there for one man to find, feel free to post some of the gems you come across.

We built this city on stolen memories

Before its release last week, a director's cut DVD of Dark City had been rumored for years (including Roger Ebert's 2005 note that he recorded a new commentary for such a DVD). That a director's cut would result in a superior movie was almost certain, as the film begins with an infamous prologue that screams "studio interference." In 1998, audiences were introduced to Alex Proyas' landmark film with Kiefer Sutherland giving a breathy, spoilerific voice-over that ruins about half of the movie's surprises. By explicitly knowing up front that the Strangers are aliens, it erases any uncertainty about their origins which would otherwise be revealed about an hour into the story. So reviled was this introduction that it became popular for fans to tell the uninitiated to turn the sound off for the first minute. Removing this voice-over is an easy improvement, but Dark City: Director's Cut also adds about 10 more minutes of additional footage that make for a subtly (not spectacularly) better movie.

Annoying voice over aside, there is little else to complain about with Dark City. We are first introduced to a confused man awakening naked in a bathtub. He's in a hotel room, and there's a strange syringe near the bath, but his main problem is having no memory of who he is or why he's in the strange hotel room. One of those questions is answered as he walks by the front desk, the manager telling John Murdoch that his bill is overdue. More revelations will follow, with John finding out that he's an accused serial killer, he's estranged from his wife, and apparently has a history in this odd city -- which stops cold at midnight every night on the dot. But while the rest of the populace fall asleep at midnight, John is unaffected, and he is still trying to understand his "tuning" superpowers that alter physical reality through his will alone. John will find out that this city is one giant experiment conducted by the mysterious Strangers, and he is the only one who can put an end to their plan.

Dark City's memorable combination of stylish visuals, original sci-fi story and near-flawless resistance to the genre's usual cliches almost guaranteed it would be a commercial failure, then rediscovered on video. I first discovered it like many people, after Ebert surprisingly named it his favorite movie of the year and generally heaped tons of praise on it throughout the year. I've since tried to watch it every year, as Proyas' story and visuals encourage repeat viewings. What I appreciate more with each viewing are the central questions about memories, and the value we put on them. Other movies have touched on the issue of losing our memories, but what if you can't trust your memories, does that diminish their quality? The inhabitants of Dark City are ignorant of their captivity, but even with their memories being mixed and matched, they are still capable of displaying the unique human qualities that the Strangers so cherish. Do memories drive the human spirit no matter what they are, or is our vitality linked to something deeper? The Strangers, who have a communal consciousness, are obsessed with this question that has no answer.

In his director's cut, Proyas adds in small scenes that create a couple nice little subplots. Chief among these is John noticing his fingerprints, which resemble the vertigo symbols that permeate the movie. Inspector Bumstead and Mr. Book of the Strangers also pick up on this, leading both parties to suspect John has truly evolved. The problem with these scenes is that it's not readily apparent that his fingerprints are out of the ordinary; if there wasn't so much attention paid to them, I would have thought they were normal. My favorite new element is the revelation that the prostitute John meets at the automat has a daughter. At her apartment, John sees the girl peaking around a door, adding more reason for him to leave in haste. But her biggest role in the film comes later when Bumstead and Emma Murdoch find the prostitute's mutilated body, and discover the girl hiding in the house. As Emma comforts her, Bumstead finds a picture she had drawn of the Strangers. The eerie drawing becomes key to the story, as Emma and Bumstead until this point had not seen the Strangers, but will catch a glimpse of them only moments later.

Early announcements of this DVD promised new special effects, but the only enhancements I caught were some slight changes to the tuning effects, cleaning them up a little bit. There are also a few extended scenes that add more depth to Bumstead's character in particular. One little note about the packaging: the cover art is beautiful, and much more detailed than you see in this picture, but what's odd is the design on the reverse. The DVD comes in a slip package, which contains no information on the reverse, just another cool design. This has been done before, but in those cases there was at least a sticker or an insert beneath the plastic with a synopsis and list of extra features. There's nothing like that here, which is frustrating for anyone who is interested in what new extras are on the disc, or for that matter anyone unfamiliar with the movie.

Indeed there are new extras, all high quality. Ebert adds to his previous commentary, and Proyas has provided an all new track. There are also two documentaries, one focusing on the movie's production and another offering five perspectives on the movie from the likes of Proyas, the screenwriter and three critics. The documentary "Memories of Shell Beach," is excellent, with much of the cast and crew giving candid reflections on the movie from inception to its box office receipts. The common thread through all the interviews is everyone involved never cared about the movie's cold box office, because they knew from day one they were making a great movie.