FRIDAY SCREEN TEST: Evan Waters

Evan Waters does it because others won't! Evan reviews random Godzilla movies because he does not fear them! Evan dares to admit his affection for The Avengers movie because others haven't actually seen it! Evan dares to admit his affection for Lady in the Water because others are afraid of being beaten with a sack full of door knobs! Club Parnassus is where Evan hangs his hat, and there's much more to it than movies most of the world has panned. As a full-time comic book aficionado, Evan takes honest looks at the material which probably won't be remade by Brett Ratner or Bryan Singer any time soon -- such as The Eternals, World War II dinosaurs and the Blue Beetle. Oh yeah, he also likes Hudson Hawk.

DO YOU HAVE 'NIGHT OF 1000 CATS' IN WIDESCREEN?: 'I almost never buy sight unseen. (At least full price. A local video store was having a clearance on VHS and I ended up with The Wicked Lady, Playing For Keeps and The Night of 1,000 Cats. I'm still not sure how that happened.) (Oh yeah, and subtitled kauu eiga get bought immediately because I remember how scarce they used to be.) That marker having been passed, I have to have enjoyed it, and be in the feeling that I'd like to watch it sooner rather than later. I'm also mindful o filling in holes in my collection, be they specific titles or just general genres/moods -- I often think to myself "I don't really have a good X kind of movie," and browse and buy accordingly.'

HISTORICALLY SPEAKING: 'Historical epics often lose me -- they get a weird buttoned-down solemnity at their worst, which has a distancing effect. Even though major historical details may be changed, you still feel like the filmmakers felt they had a responsibility to Take Things SEriously. The best films of this genre are either so brilliantly executed that the solemnity is appropriate (Das Boot, Schindler's List, etc.) or cast off that feeling completely and work as entertainment (The Aviator, 300). Ialso tend to be disengaged by that kind of horror movie where you know there's no point getting involved with any character except the designated survivor because everyone else is just there to pad the body count.'

HOW TO SPEAK LIKE EVAN WATERS (IN THE CONSERAVATORY, WITH THE ROPE):
'"Oh well, who wants to live forever?" -- Brian Blessed, Flash Gordon (sometimes followed by "DIIIIVE!" depending on the context).

'"We whupped 'em and we got it ALL!' -- Scott H. Reininger, Dawn of the Dead (or alternately, 'We got this, man, we got this by the ass!')'

'Most of Clue.'

HE DOTH NOT PROTEST TOO MUCH: While I will nitpick individual trends in filmmaking to death (remember when horror films used to be in color?), I reject the kind of Peter Travers-ian default assumption of Hollywood and big budgets and CGI as "bad" and independent film and small character pieces, etc. as "good," as well as any kind of despair over films constantly getting worse or sequels and remakes overtaking everything or any other point of no return for the art of cinema. The film industry has problems. Those problems can be solved by filmmakers with ingenuity and maybe by studio executives with backbone and/or a willingness to look at how the status quo can change. My job on my end for now is to point to the problems and not get everything snarled together in one big unfixable lump of "Hollywood sucks."'

WATCH THIS: 'The face hugger scene in Alien is so perfectly timed that it pretty much always works. There's a passage in David Lynch's Dune where Paul (Kyle MacLachlan), having escaped into the desert following the massacre of his family, has a vision staring at the moon, and turns and speaks to his mother (Francesca Annis) with a mad fervor talking about how he's being changed by his surroundings. There is something so magical about that moment that it catapults the whole film onto another plane.'

CAVE MAN: 'I've seen Leslie Nielsen, John Malkovich and Patrick Stewart all at college appearances (the latter two at the Cambridge Union Society), but I don't suppose I had any more memorable an experience than anyone else who was there. Going to the Bronson Film Cave in L.A. was a treat, though. All sorts of places have been film locations, but this was a place that felt like something out of the movies; the craggy rocks are perfect for ambushes, the cave is small but classical, there were birds wheeling around in the hills overhead and some very small crew (likely in film school) shooting something or other very briefly. That really felt like making contact with the "world" of film, somehow.'

WHAT'S ON: 'I'd say about 4-5 a week, counting ones that happen to pop up on TV. I try to set aside at least a couple nights a week for DVDs, and usually catch something late Friday, and for the past month or so I've been to the theater about weekly.'

AND IT BEGAN: 'I read a lot of books about sci-fi and monster movies as a kid, and some of these had criticism, and I got used to reading that, and started haltingly to form my own opinions and sometimes write reviews on an old word processor. When my family got AOL, I started to get on the movie message boards and post my thoughts there, and I did that for many many years; I got into blogging last year because some folks from an old AOL board (which has mostly been abandoned now - many members got tired of AOL's crap and racist trolls flooded in and there was no moderation to stop them) moved into the blogosphere and it struck me as a good way both to keep in touch and to just have a place to put all this.'

NOW SHOWING AT CLUB PARNASSUS CINEMA: 'I'd have to show all four of George Romero's Living Dead films, either in a marathon or theme week. I'd also pretty much need to have an Underrated Film Festival, featuring all the movies that I like that nobody else does -- Dune, The Avengers, Sorcerer, Exorcist II, etc. etc. Probably throw a Godzilla festival in there as well.'

IT WAS A VERY GOOD YEAR: '1998 changed a lot of the way I looked at film and subjectivity/objectivity in art. In that year around five films came out that I had been looking forward to -- Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, Godzilla, Small Soldiers, The Avengers and John Carpenter's Vampires -- which I enjoyed while the general popular consensus rejected them. I spent a lot of time online trying to articulate how these films worked while, in the face of everyone else, they hadn't. I realized how my tastes were really apart from everyone else's, that this wasn't going to change, that I should stick to my guns, and that in the end, this was not a debate that could be won or lost. There are objective qualities to art, but not so many that an opinion that something is good or bad can't be defended. Basically after defending that lot, I had earned my battle scars. There was NOTHING I couldn't argue for or against afterwards.'

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FRIDAY SCREEN TEST: Peter Nellhaus

Peter Nellhaus, who also contributes to Screenhead and Twitch, keeps an entertaining cache of film reviews at Coffee, Coffee, and More Coffee (where he has captured the essence of life in only four words). Peter is able to provide generous coverage of various film festivals (Miami Beach's Italian Film Festival [posts 1, 2 and 3], and the Aurora Asian Film Festival [posts 1, 2, 3 and 4] to name a couple) and also hosted the rich William Shakespeare Blog-a-thon in April. A simple jaunt through Peter's reviews will show you that he's a true student of film and has interests in many genres. His like for Thai cinema was put on display this year when he took an extended visit to Thailand, and wrote a series of posts about the Asian nation's film industry (see here, here and here for most of them).

HOW DO YOU SAY 'KILL ME' IN THAI?: 'I saw "Cheaper by the Dozen 2" when I was in the hospital (I was in Thailand and it was the only English language programming). How is it that this movie was popular? It wasn't even dumb funny. Am I missing something in contemporary comedy?'

THE DEFENSE RESTS: 'Hollywood can fend for itself. Obviously they don't miss my support, otherwise they'd be making better films. More often I ask people why they are still watching Hollywood movies if there are better film choices available.'

CELEBRITY TRAFFIC: 'I have had several. The best were at Telluride. Of those, my favorite moments were a brief meeting with Julie Christie in 1974, and interviewing Henry King by a creek, an appropriately pastoral setting ... I had a nice chat with Jonathan Demme about mutual acquintances that I knew from NYU. Part of my neighborhood in Miami Beach was used for second unit filming of "Transporter 2". My wife looked longingly at Jason Statham's stunt double ... There was also the time I worked at the Greenwich Theater in NYC, and saw how James Coco kept his weight up.'

OF LOVE AND FILM IN THE SUMMER OF '69: 'I had an interest in films that started to get serious in junior high. I had read film reviews, but was unaware of the serious critics until high school. We did get the Sunday New York Times, which meant reading about a bunch of interesting films that never showed up in Denver. I did enjoy Renata Adler at the time. My mother directed me to Pauline Kael. The big revalation for me was Andrew Sarris' "American Cinema" and "Interviews with Film Directors" which I read almost back to back in the summer of 1969.'

TRUER WORDS...: 'William K. Everson told my class that there was no reason not to see a new movie everyday. I usually have a steady stream of DVDs.'

NOW SHOWING AT COFFEE, COFFEE, COFFEE AND CINEMA: 'I'd show movies unavailable on any home format. That's reason enough to show movies in a theater. Assuming I could get my hands on them, I'd show "Omicron" by Ugo Gregoretti, "Cover Me Babe" by Noel Black, John Ford's "Seven Women", the 70mm versions of "Playtime" by Tati and "The Big Trail" by Walsh, and selected films from Frank Borzage.'

WISHFUL THINKING: 'In some cases [purchasing DVDs] is the only way I'll see certain films, which is why I have a region free player. In most cases I buy films I tell myself I'll be watching multiple times. I still have a bunch that haven't even been unwrapped.'

THERE IS A MAN!/A CERTAIN MAN!: 'I get a chill down my back when the chorus girls come out and sing the "Citizen Kane" song and Orson Welles gets up to dance with them. It doesn't matter whether I'm seeing "Kane" in a theater or on TV.'

CAN THE WORLD LEARN HOW TO SPEAK LIKE PETER NELLHAUS?: '"I don't think so", to quote Fred Willard from 'Best in Show.'"

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FRIDAY SCREEN TEST: Neil Sarver

Although Neil Sarver's blog is titled The Bleeding Tree, it is also a giving tree: serving up plenty of doses of movies, music, politics, boobs and wieners. So Neil pretty much has it all covered, but it's still near impossible to predict what his next post will be: he could follow up a loving tribute to Sam Peckinpah (preach on, brother) with a nutritious write-up of Pinky Violence or filling us in on why Roger Corman is his idol. Like the best of us, Neil appreciates the fine arts but loves the trash, which is why he hosted the wonderful Trashy Movie Blog-a-thon in April. And unlike most of us, Neil means it when he says "I could do better" after walking out of The House of the Dead -- he's currently juggling a few horror screen plays, and all of us at DVD Panache wish him the best.

NOW SHOWING AT BLEEDING TREE CINEMA: 'I'd like most to do a Spaghetti Western themed week. Part of me would most like to do a whole week with no Sergio Leone movies at all. Not because Leone isn't the top of the peak, as he clearly is, but c'mon, you can see those movies on the TBS "Movies for Men Who Love Movies" night. Pragmatically, in order to draw some kind of audience, I think a week of double-features, one by Leone and one by another director seems a good compromise. A Fistful of Dollars with Django. For a Few Dollars More with Death Rides a Horse. The Good, The Bad and The Ugly with Four of the Apocalypse. Once Upon a Time in the West with The Great Silence. Duck,You Sucker with Run, Man, Run.'

DEAD AND LOVING IT: 'The dead genres like musicals and westerns, so dismissed by modern audiences, are among my favorites. I love art movies and crappy '80s T&A comedies alike, as long as they succeed at what they're attempting.'

FEAR THIS: 'Just about any scene in the original Night of the Living Dead, which is a movie that never fails to terrify me. The scene I'm going to choose isn't as striking as many others, but it's the scene in which Ben and Barbara first meet in the house and she is perfectly paralyzed by fear. There's something so painfully correct about her reaction and so terrifyingly real about Judith O'Dea's performance that it just grounds the entire movie from that point forth in a very real world that I relate to emotionally on every level. I think this is where many horror movies fail. Not, mind you, movies that simply are within the realm of the fantastique, a distinction that we rarely make in the U.S. Unless it's a comedy, nearly all dark fantasy movies, regardless of whether their heart may be more deeply in drama or action, are considered "horror" and given a marketing campaign promising to terrify the audience, and too often disappointing it. But even many movies that intend to frighten their audience neglect to show their characters frightened in any substantive manner, leaving the viewer with no empathetic "in" to experience the fear.'

CRIMES AND MISDEMEANORS: 'I see Hollywood like as an abusive spouse. I'm hopelessly in love with it. I know what it's capable of, and on it's best days, it makes me so deliriously happy that I want to forgive it on the days that it neglects and abuses me. The most basic crime it commits, and has since its very beginnings, is thinking that audiences as a whole fail to respond to anything beyond the surface. If Jaws is successful, perhaps it's not because they are hungering for movies about killer sharks, but for the well-realized characters and greatly crafted thrills in a general way. If the "Lord of the Rings" movies are successful, maybe there's something more to their success than wizards and dragons.

'As such, I think Hollywood's biggest success and biggest crime is convincing people that this is true. Audiences have been battered into thinking they want to see certain types of movies because they replicate previous experiences on some surface level. They rush en masse to see movies they're led to believe will do so. Because this experience is so often one of empty pleasure of the surface, they've slowly come to see movies as a wholly intellectual surface pleasure, they stop allowing themselves to suspend belief and become absorbed in the experience of the movie itself. The emotion, the artistic expression and the wonder disappear. And yet, I do continue to seek out their product. I continue to watch it in hopes that somewhere, in some moment, the movie will suck me in and allow me to experience the excitement and joy that a really rousing Hollywood movie can bring like nothing else in the world.'

NO TIME FOR QUOTES, DR. SARVER: 'I often quote Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom: "I keep telling you, you listen to me more, you live longer!", "You no fun to play with, you cheat!", "That's why they call it the jungle, sweetheart." And I do sometimes quote Backbeat, "Tell me, Stuart, are you glad you came?" But, like, I don't think I quote Pulp Fiction or Star Wars much, although I've been known to try "I don't know, I can imagine quite a bit." on occasion. The only Monty Python quote I know hides in there somewhere to pop out occasionally is "It's wafer thin!" (You can supply your own accent.)

ALL BLOWED UP: 'Alright. I'll admit it: Michaelangelo Antonioni, I seriously don't get it. Any of it. I think L'Avventura is tedious. I find Blow-Up impenetrable. This would mean little to me, except I'm a great lover of the types of movies these represent. I know so many people with such similar taste to mine overall that absolutely love them. So many of my favorite directors site the influence of his movies on movies that I love. I absolutely love arthouse movies. I love meandering movies with little interest in plot ... I'm also a big fan of Italian cinema, from Fellini to Bava to, well, just about anyone, I think it's the country which has developed the greatest sense of what cinema can be. The art movies are terrifically wild and wonderful, thoughtful and entertaining, while the genre movies are amazingly filled with artful touches and avant-garde approaches. None of this allows me to understand the great appeal that Antonioni holds for so many people, as much as I'd like to find an in on this one.'

HUSH, HUSH ... SWEET JACKASS: 'I think it averages out to a movie a day, but I'm not certain offhand. I don't get out to the theater nearly as much as I'd like to, partially due to the simple money issues, but also scheduling and general annoyance with movie crowds these days.'

FISTFUL O' DOLLARS: 'I like buying movies that I've not seen heard good things about and supporting small DVD producer/distributors. Lately it's been limited to the best of the best of the best... not even that, the most temptingly rewatchable of the best of the stuff that wouldn't be easy enough to rent at Hollywood.'

BUT WHY A BLOG?: '...Discovering "Sneak Previews" with Gene Siskel and Roger Ebert on PBS. I remember specifically flipping through the channels and finding it there. Two weird dudes who just sat and talked about movies. But they weren't like most people talking about movies on TV. They argued and pondered and cried out with glee and disgust. They talked about movies like they mattered. They talked about movies like they mattered to them the way they mattered to me. Obviously that's a long time before I started blogging. Internet discussion partly begins with a lack of people around me who understand or care about movies in the same way I do and finding many more online, on Usenet, back in the day, or web discussion groups to find others with the same kind of passion and interest in movies that I have. Blogging itself is good, because it gives me a forum to write about other non-movie issues that interest me. It also isn't dependent on finding others who are not only as passionate as I about movies generally, but passionate enough that day about that movie. It's just me and what I'm interested in saying that day.

'It allows me a forum to document at least some fraction of the conversations I have with myself all the time.'

IT ALL STARTED IN...: '1980. I was already into movies by that point. In fact, I can't recall not being into movies. Unlike most of my peers, I can't think of a movie like Star Wars that hooked me on movies or moviemaking. I remember quite clearly wanting to see Star Wars because I loved movies so much. 1980 is the year of Popeye and The Elephant Man.

'Like all the other kids, I went to see Popeye to see Mork play the hero of the Fleischer cartoons. Unlike many others who were confused, bored or generally disappointed with the movie, I was fascinated by the verisimilitude of the world and the richly developed tapestry of characters from Elzie Segar's "Thimble Theater". I would soon come to understand this as partly the result of its director's style. It took some effort at that time before home video, but I'd manage to merge the LP version of the movie MASH, which contained dialogue and music from the movie, along with the original novel, the hugely successful series based on it and eventually a deeply censored television cut of the movie in my head into some understanding of his breakthrough movie as well.

'The Elephant Man was as close to a religious experience as I've ever had. At once real and impressionistic, it became the whole of my understanding of art, or at least the cinema art. I suspect I still subconsciously judge many types of movies based on how they evoke the emotional and intellectual responses I had to that movie. This led to my first experience making the effort to watch the Academy Awards, and, of course, my first in a lifetime of disappointment in the Academy's judgments when it was completely shut out.'

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FRIDAY SCREEN TEST: Johanna Custer

At once a personal journal and a deep look into film, Johanna Custer has made the lone revue into one of those rare blogs where it seems like she's conducting a conversation with the person reading it. Johanna recently concluded a hugely successful project of looking at seven different films (and seven distinct themes) through the aid of the book Film Art. Johanna managed to keep the seven films widely varied (Badlands, My Favorite Wife and Modern Times, to name a few) and the posts themselves hugely informative and interesting. Johanna also keeps us abreast on her professional film life, which has taken her to Greece and Montana recently. She also finds time to give us her own take on some of the classics, notably Gone With the Wind, Double Indemnity and 8 1/2.

LET IT OUT: 'Sometimes I think it's more embarrassing to pretend that a movie isn't making me cry when it is, so I've stopped trying to hide that. I've felt a lot better about that sort of thing since I just decided to let it go. I guess there was something about being manipulated that hurt my pride, but sometimes crying during a flick has nothing to do with the filmmakers' intent, but rather the life you've led and I try to keep that in mind when I'm not watching a movie alone.'

BETTER THAN FOOD: 'I only buy two kinds of movies: the kind that I won't mind selling back to my local used exchange and those that I wouldn't like to sell even if I hadn't eaten for three days. With the former, it has to be something I really enjoyed as a kid or something that I know from reviews that I should at least see once but can then part with relatively easily. With the latter, it has to be an absolute timeless piece of spiritual craft. Andrei Rublev or Mouchette. It also helps if it can be watched over and over again, either because it can be studied ad nauseum without getting old or because it's absolutely, charmingly addictive like Before Sunrise and Before Sunset are. Also, if I have a bit of spare change, an old Tom Baker Dr. Who never hurt anybody.'

UNCLEAN. UNSHAVEN.: 'I have this thing for About Schmidt and pretty much every movie that has a male everyman character who is just this total slob of a man, lost and unable to connect with anything around him. when I'm bummed and I feel like looking for something that's on my emotional level at the moment I pop in a movie like that. Bill Murray movies tend to be good for that too, as do Wes Anderson flicks. When I was younger and channeled my emotions more physically, I think I would have responded with something sillier, like Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Life of Brian or Army of Darkness.'

... AND SLAVE DUDES, TOO: 'The fight scene between Tony Curtis and Kirk Douglas in Spartacus both raises goose flesh and makes me cry, too, incidentally. I have yet to really sit down with it and figure out why, but I probably should one of these days. Also, several romances leave me exhilarated.'

WISEMEN LIKE BOB DYLAN AND CHRISTIAN SLATER ONCE SAID: 'If I do pick up a quote these days, it doesn't stay with me for more than a couple of weeks. I tend to value wisdom over comedy, but there are a few quotes that have little to do with movies that use both that will always stay with me, and that require more careful usage. If you pull them out too frequently, they lose impact. Bob Dylan's "... you can fool some of them people some of the time ... but you can't fool all of the people all of the time ..." speech is one such instance. When I was in my late teens, though, I seem to remember over-using many a Heathers quote. It was just part of the survival gear at my high school, as I'm sure it was for many others.'

FIENDISH FILM LOVER: 'Every once in a while I'll get so busy that the idea of watching a film or even reading a book is ludicrous. I couldn't concentrate on it if I tried, you know? And I really treasure times like those, which can last for a couple of months or longer. If I spend all of my time watching the steady, never-ending stream of films that is my Netflix queue there's be no intervals of any kind -- no rests, no changes, no time for reflection. When I do watch films, I'm a fiend. If I really love a film I'll watch it two or three times back-to-back just to test its watchability ... I did that with City Lights the first time I saw it. Conversely, I do that with films I don't like so much at first. Many a Fellini film has had to undergo a few brisk repeats before I finally started to see something I could really glom onto. Amacord and 8 1/2 were definitely not easy first watches for me.'

NO SHOWING AT LONE REVUE CINEMA: 'I would dig up the forgotten women filmmakers of the Nouvelle Vague, and those that the movement influenced elsewhere, like Vera Chytilova, and try and recreate what happened there. I like the French filmmakers in general and especially love and esteem Truffaut, but I don't understand why it is that Agnes Varda and other later women filmmakers who were essentially Nouvelle Vague apprentices paid their dues only to be all but completely forgotten and not dealt their share of the limelight. So I would plan the week to sort of proportionally represent the creative evolution that was the Nouvelle Vague, and allow people to get a better sense of the history of that particular era.'

'CELEBRITIES' ARE PEOPLE TOO: 'I was once in the Squirrel Hill Blockbuster that isn't there anymore and Sinbad came in to take a break with his kid while shooting House Guest. I had my kid brother with me, all of perhaps 11, and he's always been quite the gregarious little urchin, so he goes up to Sinbad and introduces himself, shakes his hand and all of that and asks him to sign something. The poor thing had spent the entire day camped out in Oakland just trying to get to be an extra on his set, but to no avail. So Sinbad signs it, but the whole time he's cursing under his breath that all he wanted to do was get away with his kid for a little while, you know, and not even looking my brother in the face. I just remember thinking that a guy who made such stupid films could use a lesson in manners.'

DO THE RIGHT THING: 'The first film I walked out on was The Bodyguard. You might ask what the hell I was doing going to see that in the theatre in the first place, but the truth is I don't remember. I just remember the feeling of triumph that I not only had chosen to exercise my right to NOT watch a film I had paid for but to find something better to do so that I didn't waste the rest of my time with the date complaining about what an awful piece of crap the movie we had picked had turned out to be. Later on, I remember feeling more relief than triumph when I walked out on Reindeer Games in the middle of Gary Sinise's somewhat psychotic rant. It was a good call. And it's probably no mistake that all of the films I've ever walked out on weren't my choice of film to see in the first place; likewise, I've also been to a few with larger groups of people that I would've loved to have walked out on, but it would've meant making too much commotion. Troy was one of those.'

THANKS, DAD: 'My family didn't get a VCR until 1988, so that opened up a whole new world living in the small backwater that we did. My Dad started loading us up on all the films that he had loved (or ones based on books he had loved) that he thought we would love or at least thought we should watch. I was about 12 and we just blitzed through all kinds of films the existence of which I had never thought possible, like A Clockwork Orange, Dune and old martial arts films like Enter the Dragon. I learned quickly what I did and didn't like but I kept an open mind that has kept me in good stead for the most part. That was the year that I discovered Aliens and I developed a deep and abiding love of the first two films in that set that's fairly unshakable. That was also the year that PBS, which was one of about 4 channels we got using our old rotator for the rooftop antenna, started showing classic cinema like Casablanca, Citizen Kane and every Hitchcock film that it could on Saturday afternoons. I pretty much haven't been the same since I saw The Birds. Caw .... caw.'

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FRIDAY SCREEN TEST: Squish Lessard

There appears to be a method for Squish "My Nickname is Better Than Yours" Lessard's madness: for all of his reviews at Film Squish, he breaks the films down into categories, which earn numerical grades. But while his reviews may be scientific, there may be no explanation as to why he enjoys toying with his readers by posting quizzes that make even the most bulging film buff feel like some boob who heads straight for the Shannon Tweed VHS section at Blockbuster. Through his clever skills of manipulation, Squish is able to make even the most recognizable of belt buckles seem as foreign as squid pizza toppings. Squish just may have the widest variety of reviews of any Screen Tester thus far (a Nordic genre section, anyone? Oceanic?) So he's definitely worldly, which may explain why Film Squish actually looks like a Web site, not like some template-chained blog that so many of us trogs lend our names to (tone it down a lil, Squish -- you're making us look bad!).

PHILM PHLEGM: 'Just this week I've been contemplating creating a special page for all my 'Hidden Phlegms' someday soon. Most recently I enjoyed how Starcrash (1979) pulled off trying to be good and failed so wickedly. Bloodsuckers (2005) was some low budget zen too. I spend far too much time away from my 'serious' film study looking for tragically awesome tripe, and I find myself usually quite disappointed, but finding that Re-Animator class greatness is well worth it.'

IF YOU'RE GONNA BUY, BUY -- DONT' TALK: 'I have 2 categories of film purchasing: 1. I've seen it and must have it, and all the DVD extras too .. This is reserved strictly for my "favourite films ever," quite a short list. 2. I'll only buy "never seens that I want to see" if they're cheaper than the cost of rental. By the end of last summer's Ottawa annual massive garage sale event, I had about 30 titles for under 40 bucks. You don't feel guilty when you buy Footloose for a dollar. The dollar bin at the grocery store occasionally has some gold classics too, from Stooges to Stewart.'

VICIOUS SQUISH: '[I watch movies] daily and usually twice a day on weekends. I used to watch more, but I found it interfered with my review writing, an ironically vicious cycle indeed ... Sometimes when I'm behind on my reviews, I'll watch a television series on DVD instead. I've been told that a movie a day is quite the endeavour ... I don't see it.

THIS WEEKEND ONLY AT CINEMA SQUISH: 'To fill the house, I'd crack out the Pink Floyd synchronicity trilogy: The Wizard of Oz to the music of "Dark Side of the Moon" (otherwise known as "The Dark Side of Oz"). The Good, The Bad and The Ugly synchs up with "Animals" and Blade Runner synchs up with "Wish You Were Here." If it were merely a venue for expression, Samurai, Apocalyptic, Zombie or classic 9-part horror serials would certainly be my bag. Got a touch of the Grindhouse in me for sure.'

TALK LIKE A SQUISH TODAY!: 'I try to keep away from the all too familiar:'
"Ain't nuthin good never come out of Missourah!" (Outlaw Josey Wales)
"What the hell you wanna fuck around that river for, anyway!?" (Deliverance)
"I like this one -- one dog goes one way, the other dog goes the other way." (Goodfellas)
"I bet you're the kind of guy who'd fuck a person in the ass and not even have the goddamned common courtesy to give him the reacharound!" (Full Metal Jacket)

ITS GETTIN COLD IN HERE: 'I'd have to say it's a toss up between the climaxes of Requiem for a Dream and Irreversible are the most powerful and goosebump-inspiring moments in Squish's film history ever for icky, and most scenes in Secretary for the good kind...'

THANKS, MAN: 'The most memorable encounter would have to be Korbett Mathews, less than a year ago. He's an independent documentary film director based in Montreal who taught a course I took. After the course I decided I'd take the plunge and start making some real films myself, and have been blowing my paychecks on 16mm film equipment ever since...'

BOOK OF THE DEAD (SOCIAL LIFE): 'Before I received a tome called 1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die for Christmas 2005, I was more a contemporary modern day film fan. Since that time I've delved into, pretty exclusively, classic films and having discovered so many silent era titles that moved me so much, I'm a changed man forever.'

SOME FRIEND: '"I can't believe I INVITED people to see this garbage! What must they think of me!?"'

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FRIDAY SCREEN TEST: Steve Carlson

Steve Carlson reviews movies like Steven Seagal dispatches henchmen. That is: with alarming frequency and noted consistency. At The Ongoing Cinematic Education of Steve Carlson, the title author has been firing out reviews in short, clever and effective bursts since 2002. While some of us in the movie blog-o-sphere waste our time with idiotic lists and ramblings, Steve sticks to the goods (reviews), and the man delivers. With a review index roughly ten feet high, Steve has spanned the gamut, from The House With Laughing Windows to House of the Dead, and Laugh, Clown Laugh to Killer Klowns From Outer Space. Steve is also nice enough to solicit opinions on what he should review, but please don't torment the man by telling him to review The Jar -- or if you do, at least have the courtesy to tell him you're only half serious.

TALKING IN YOUR SLEEP: 'I fell asleep during a classroom screening of Solaris, and I'd wager I might have been snoring a bit. Otherwise, not in any way I can think of. I did embarass someone else because of my inability to stop vocally mocking Underworld during a screening on its opening weekend -- does that count?'

SO MUCH TO LOVE: 'John Goodman bellowing, "I WILL SHOW YOU THE LIFE OF THE MIND!" in Barton Fink, Adam Sandler freaking out at the phone booth in Punch-Drunk Love, William H. Macy finally solving his problems with his wife in Boogie Nights, the big reveal in Fight Club, Dennis Hopper telling Kyle MacLachlan, "You're just like me," in Blue Velvet, the closing credits of Night of the Living Dead, the kid getting the hypo in the heart in In a Glass Cage, the freeze-frame at the end of if...., the last shot of Rejected, the eyeball and the razor blade in Un Chien Andalou, "Freebird" in The Devil's Rejects... the list never ends, man.'

TALK LIKE A STEVE CARLSON TODAY!: 'I use, "Well, they can't all be winners, kid, now can they?" from Bad Santa like it was tattooed on my tongue. I'm also quite fond of "Are you ready for the fun part? 'Cause here comes the fun part," from Super Troopers. Nothing profound, alas, but they get me through the day...'

TIS THE SEASON TO BE ...: 'Other than my habit of watching anti-romantic films on Valentine's Day (i.e. Multiple Maniacs, Blue Velvet, etc.), not really. I do try to watch something -- anything -- on Christmas in a theater, just because. Wasn't able to do it this year, alas...'

NOW PLAYING AT CINEMA CARLSONO: 'I'd do a whole month of Midnight Kink -- midnight showings of movies with oddball sexuality. I'd try not to leave anything out, either. From S&M (Maitresse and Sick) to transvestiteism (Glen or Glenda?) to transexualism (Let Me Die a Woman) all the way to necrophilia (Nekromantik) and bestiality (The Wedding Trough), plus a few catch-alls (Visitor Q, The Telephone Book, a '70s porno roughie or two)... I'd try and represent all I could. Just seeing the crowds that showed up would be entertaining enough.'

HEY MAN, THAT'S WEIRD: 'As a devotee of Something Weird, Shock Cinema and '70s cult madness, I've seen more than my share of bizarre, incompetent junk. I'm particularly fond of Herschell Gordon Lewis's crazed The Wizard of Gore, Jackie Kong's hysterical Blood Diner, the crass and goofy Mexi-madness Night of the Bloody Apes and the mind-melting Nude for Satan.'

DAMN IT ALL: 'Used to be one [movie] a day, if not more. Lately, though, work and other commitments have cut me down to about five a week. Not so bad, I suppose.'

PLEASE STAY: 'I almost never walk out on films. It's not that I don't believe in it -- it's just if I waste my money, I'm at least going to tough out the whole thing. This fortitude has only been sorely tested twice that I can recall right now -- I left the Sri Lankan feature Mansion by the Lake near its end because it was awful and my companions couldn't take any more, and I breezed out of Scary Movie 2 for about fifteen minutes because I desperately needed to keep my head from collapsing in on itself. Giving up on a film when it's on video, however... that's another matter.'

SICKO: 'My favorite year in recent memory was 1999 -- not just because there were more memorable films than any other year I've been alive, but also because it was the first year I was really able to cruise the New York City arthouse and indie-film scene. I moved to the East in mid-'98, and the first film I ever made a specific journey to see was Affliction in December of that year. 1999 was when I realized that I could make those journeys all the bloody time if I so wished. As a result, my obsessions mushroomed. It's a sickness from which I have yet to recover. If all goes well, I never will!'

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FRIDAY SCREEN TEST: Thom Ryan

Thom Ryan certainly has something going over at Film of the Year. On the surface, the thesis of his blog is simple: write a post about a film from each year. Simple, until you realize how serious he is about that -- he started with the Lumiere Brothers' initial effort in 1895 (Planet Earth's first movie), and he doesn't plan to start until he catches up with the present day. In each year Thom examines the film as it stands, but also looks at the evolution film has made since the previous year. Through Thom's blog it's sometimes hard to imagine just how we ended up where we are (it's not until 1902's A Trip to the Moon when Film of the Year examines a piece longer than two minutes), and maybe more than any other blog I've found, Film of the Year challenges newbies to 'catch up' to the current lesson by pouring through the archives. Film of the Year's thesis has evolved as well, sometimes looking at more than one picture per year (really, how could you choose just one for 1931?), making the possibilities of Thom's long and winding road toward 2008 all that more exciting.

LOOK WHAT YOU DID YOU LITTLE JERK: 'As a teenager I once sneaked a bottle of beer into a small theater showing a midnight movie. I was just trying to impress my friends ("stupid is as...etc."). I had the bottle hidden in my coat and it slipped out. The screening room had a bare concrete floor so there was a crash, and glass and beer everywhere. The worst part was that they hadn't brought the house lights down yet so everyone in the place (including the management who were not amused) knew I did it. I was invited to find the nearest exit. Embarrassing but true.'

HOME MOVIES: 'I typically watch a movie on DVD or HDTV every other day or so, and study at least one additional film per week for my blog. I used to be rather strict about seeing a movie every week at the theater but I'm much more likely to watch in our home theater these days.'

TALK LIKE A THOM RYAN TODAY!: 'When you've dissed me: "What have I ever done to deserve such disrespect" (paraphrasing The Godfather 1972); After you apologize: "And I hope you will have the deceny to clear my name with the same publicity with which you have now besmirched it." (The Godfather ll 1974); When you're freaking out: "Luke, you've switched off your targeting computer, what's wrong?" (Star Wars 1977); When I'm freaking out: "Stay on target...stay on target..." (Star Wars 1977); The way I vow revenge: "Apology accepted...Capitan Needa" (The Empire Strikes Back 1980); My views on capitalism: "Well, it's easy to make a lot of money...when what you want is to make a lot of money." (Citizen Kane 1941); Keeping it real: "Gov'ment do take a bite, don't she?" (Raising Arizona 1987); When you ask for advice: "A man looks in the abyss he's got nothing looking back at him. At that moment a man finds his character." (Wall Street 1987); Walk in my office and I'll tent my hands and say: "We meet again..." (Hell's Angels 1927); When I just feel like annoying someone: "What's a pederast?" (The Big Lebowski 1998); My best threat in a fight: "You're going to wind up in a fucking bin-bag!" (Shallow Grave 1994); In the bedroom: "What a minute. What a minute. You ain't seen nothing yet!" (The Jazz Singer 1927); I'm working on find the perfect time to say, "Sweet mother of mercy! Can this be the end of Rico?" (Little Caesar 1931).

IT'S GETTING DUSTY IN HERE: 'For raw sentimentality that scene in The Kid (1921) where the Tramp and the Kid are torn from each other and the kid runs after him, gets me every time.'

STRONG RESISTANCE: 'There's no thought police (yet) so if I'm really not enjoying something bolting the theater is an attractive option, sure. Can't remember when I've done it though. Maybe I Love You To Death (1990)?'

CHILDREN SHOULDN'T PLAY WITH BAD MOVIES: 'When I was a kid I used to drop everything Saturday afternoons and watch a Horror Double Feature show broadcast on a UHF channel from Detroit. Some twisted genius crafted the show's open. It featured a montage of shots from this mega-trashy 70s zombie flick while the freak-out section of Led Zeppelin's "Whole Lotta Love" blasted from the tiny TV speaker. It was enough to turn my young brain to mush and scared the pants off me! Those disgusting images of zombies crawling out of the fog-machine infested earth were always more frightening than whatever cheapo-flick was actually playing on the show. Trouble was I had no idea what movie provided those creepy shots. Flash forward twenty years and 2,000 miles from home: I'm rifling through the sale bin at my local video store, pick up a copy of Children Shouldn't Play with Dead Things (1972) and look at the pictures on the back of DVD box. I freeze in my tracks, regress back to a nine-year old boy, and look wide-eyed at the guy behind the register. "Dude!" I suddenly shout at him, and he looks more startled than I am. "This is the movie!" Children Shouldn't Play with Dead Things, a low budget undead-fest that sees a film director and a group of hippy actors travel to an island graveyard and try to cast a spell on a corpse to star in their movie. Nothing goes as planned (of course). The spell doesn't work so they take the body back with them and have a corpse party in a house on the island. Meanwhile, all of the other bodies buried on the island begin to "wake up." Pure trash but fun for the hippy-speak, clothes and excellent lo-fi creature effects. A guilty pleasure worth the long unholy grail quest I had to undertake to find it.'

STRICT, BUT FAIR: 'The name of my revival theater is Leave Your Cellphone at the Door. We enforce the policy too, but you get a free issue of our zine in return. Friday: The Wrong Trousers (1993), What Happened at 23rd, New York City (1901), It (1927), The Seven Year Itch (1955), Saturday: The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari (1920); Ugetsu (1953), Celine and Julie Goat Boating (1974), Mulholland Drive (2001); Sunday: Lumiere shorts series.

BACK BY POPULAR DEMAND: 'I'm more likely to watch certain movies on a particular day of the week. For example, nothing fits friday nights like The Big Lebowski (1998), saturday afternoons like Shallow Grave (1994) or Vertigo (1958) or Sunday mornings like anything by Frank Capra.'

BACK WHEN IT ALL BEGAN: '1977. Star Wars. My first conscious movie memory, and favorite childhood movie experience.'

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FRIDAY SCREEN TEST: Chris Stangl

Chris Stangl, at the tastefully-named and designed Exploding Kintetoscope proclaims film as 'the deadliest art,' but he also travels into the realms of television and ... Teen Wolf. Okay so it's mostly film-related, and Mr. Stangl touches on a library of topics in this arena, with unique investigations through the likes of Kill Bill (on the lost 'Yuki's Revenge' contained in the original script), The Shining (an exhaustive look at relates to American history) and, yes, Teen Wolf (hear him out: ol' Stiles deserves his due). Last month, he sat down with the new M*A*S*H uber-box set and hardly got off the couch for a month -- but did live to tell. Chris recently posted a loving tribute to his hometown movie palace in Iowa City, one of those places that makes you wonder 'maybe we would be better off without all these multiple screen.

"YEAH, BUT HAVE YOU SEEN THE SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION?": 'For what favorites are worth, Eraserhead is my favorite movie. More honestly, my favorite movies are Eraserhead and Dellamorte Dellamore. Those answers usually stop non-cinephile conversations in their tracks. In mixed company, I usually say my favorite movie is The Parent Trap. Eraserhead is a masterpiece of personal expression through film, a great meeting place of narrative and avant garde cinema, a film at once sealed off from reality in a world of private metaphysics and universal in its vision and concerns about civilization and its discontents. Seeing Eraserhead at 15 was that experience all film-obsessives surely have, the movie that plunges you into the oceanic possibilities of cinema. Whenever I think I’ve outgrown it, or running on simple nostalgia, I’ll watch it again, and remember Eraserhead is a source of inexhaustible mystery.'

ONCE A DAY, EVERY DAY: 'I can’t watch movies every day; there isn’t time. But sometimes I watch six movies a day so... In the end my viewing tallies do average out to approximately a movie a day. I also average an hour-worth of TV episodes a day. I try to read a book and a half a week, which I find a more manageable goal, because they’re portable.'

WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY: 'When puzzled by my own reaction to a film, I generally take it as a special opportunity to think harder about how and why it works. But I can’t really explain why I like the most unremarkable Disney live action movies of the ‘60s, except empty nostalgia and bright moments with favorite performers. I suppose those are the same sketchy reasons behind my fascination with Golden Age adult films. I haven’t spent time pondering why I can sit through the dreariest Poverty Row horror, un-action-packed cowboy serial, have an insatiable Antonioni appetite, but end up looking at my watch as much as the screen during most Jess Franco and Tarkovsky pictures. I’m pretty cautious about knee-jerk negative reactions to movies; I’d prefer my blind spots to be filled with blind love than blind hate.'

DO GHOSTBUSTERS DREAM OF ELECTRIC TWINKIES?: 'The first film I can remember inspiring me to ask questions about narrative strategies, character relationships and in-fiction story issues, and to discuss technique, was Ghostbusters. How do the Ghostbusters feel about each other? How do the other guys feel about Venkmann ditching them for a girl? What are (as Beetlejuice puts it) the functional parameters of ghosts in the movie? Is the depiction of ghost-catching consistent and logical within the film (e.g.- why do you need heavy proton packs, instead of just carrying around the ghost traps)? How can a movie be scary and funny at the same time? Is Tobin’s Spirit Guide a real book? What do we make of scenes found in the paperback novelization but not the movie? Are you responsible for your actions when turned into a terror-dog? Is it possible to clear your mind and think of nothing, as Ray fails to do at the climax? Most importantly, is there a satisfying story reason for the sudden flare-up of PK energy in the NYC area? Is one provided or inferred? Et cetera. Those are silly questions, but I can see an early interest in textual analysis, reception studies, social and gender issues, and genre studies. Maybe ethics and metaphysics. It’s nothing to do with Ghostbusters specifically; it was the right time, it was the genre that interested me, and as I’d later learn, cultural legitimacy has little to do with analysis. Ghostbusters was possibly that film for me, because it’s an essentially adult popular film that appeals to kids because it has a burping ghost and a call-and-response theme song: early forays into film obsession are almost invariably fantasy movies. Hmm. Maybe I talked about Gremlins this way, earlier.'

SHIVERS: 'An inevitable byproduct of being a horror movie fan is that you eventually build up a callous over your scare-nerve. But why? I don’t stop wanting to sing along with musicals or laugh during comedies. Dull as the filmmaking often is, slasher pictures are the horror movies that retain the most potential to frighten, at least for me. The mist-belching forests and spooky castles of classic horror excite the imagination more, but psychopaths stalking strip malls and apartment complexes is closer to home. Eyes of a Stranger (1981) is this ideal marriage between taut suspenser and gory serial killer horror, very stark and stripped down and simple. Brian De Palma was interested in directing the script, about a newscaster and her blind sister who discover a serial killer is living in their apartment complex, but passed it off to Shockwaves auteur Ken Wiederhorn. The movie has a great De Palmaesque sense of spatial geography, but benefits from the verisimilitude of its low budget, in completely sleazy scenes like an assault on a topless, underage Jennifer Jason Leigh. It’s the scariest, coolest modern era horror movie that’s still not on DVD. You can also see it advertised on the Mann Chinese marquee in the greatest teen sex comedy of all time, Hollywood High.'

BONDING: 'Y’know, after 37 years of relentless, dull-spirited junk, there was no reason to ever expect a good James Bond movie again. Hearing news that Casino Royale was a series “reboot” didn’t make my mouth water. Reboot WHAT? And then Casino Royale turned out to be completely engrossing, mean, funny, unpleasant and sexy. Just like James Bond! Look, it’s got a lot of problems: “pretty good” is enough to shatter expectations for Casino Royale.'

WHAT ABOUT A THUMB?: 'Summer evening 1957, drive-in theater, black & white ’55 Bel Air convertible, girl in tight sweater in passenger seat, Attack of the Crab Monsters double-billed with Not of This Earth. This is where you go when you die. I would willingly chop off a finger to go back in time and experience this. (Chris, you just made me re-examine my image of heaven -Ed.)

PREACH, BROTHER: 'I know but one medication for loneliness, for existential crisis, for painful breakups, for a bad day at work, for hopelessness, sorrow. Ingredients: one bottle of rum, one bottle of soda water, and Destroy All Monsters. Let the sun shine in.'

MATRIX RECONSIDERED: 'The consensus, “common sense” opinion about the Matrix sequels drives me up the wall. It’s frustrating, and it’s confusing. Barely any popular critics owned up to a lack of appropriate education in comparative religion, mythology, philosophy, or science, and the films’ investigation into these topics were dismissed as window-dressing, half-assed pretense, or mumbo-jumbo with a shocking lack of intellectual curiosity. The Matrix trilogy as completed didn’t tell the story any critics or audiences were expecting, and rather than discuss the surprising films delivered, they responded by avoiding the question. Critics rarely even discussed the filmmaking intelligently, almost universally missing that the central genre reference point where melodrama, mecha-obsessed action, and ponderous metaphysics meet is anime. Because the trilogy is a money-factory, it’s easy to call it crass, commercial, stupid, right? Yeah right. And Alfred Hitchcock made art pictures for intellectuals. Reloaded and Revolutions betrayed the inventive promise of The Matrix by dissolving into rote action-picture cliché? Really? These people must see a lot more movies than I do with albino ghosts, sword fights on top of semi trucks, Kabbala in-jokes, and the spirit of God envisioned as a giant robotic baby head.'

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FRIDAY SCREEN TEST: Dennis Cozzalio

I have to disclose a bias I have toward Dennis Cozzalio: his Sergio Leone and the Infield Fly Rule was the first film blog I ever read. True story, I actually found it accidentally while Googling for drive-in information. But really, what better introduction to the film blogosphere than SLIFR? Dennis has an energetic writing style that naturally spurs conversation, with a broad taste in under appreciated and sometimes unloved movies. That this spectrum of film knowledge was stoked at the University of Oregon in the 1970s should come as no surprise to anyone familiar with that 200-miles-left-of-mainstream community and its history. Dennis has the rare talent to make his posts an event that requires reading and usually discussion -- their prodigious word counts only surpassed by the volume of lip-smacking substance they contain. If you can tear yourself away from the main body of SLIFR, you can practically spend a whole evening exploring Dennis' list of links. Included is an assortment of his favorite blogs, but also worthwhile web destinations for drive-ins theaters, music and the best movie theaters in California and home state of Oregon (though my PDX fave, Cinemagic, is curiously absent).

DEEP SENSES: 'I was 17 and managed to get in to see Nagisa Oshima’s In the Realm of the Senses, and for the life of me (being a teenager, still a virgin, who’d never even seen a straight porno before), I couldn’t figure out how this movie qualified in some circles as art. The discussion group, which took place a couple of days later, was ostensibly about the history of the medium. But Senses was new in town and a hot-enough topic that the teaching assistant who ran the group brought the movie up, and for at least 45 minutes we hashed out what it was about Oshima’s movie that made it worthy of serious discussion. I can’t say the discussion convinced me of anything— I wouldn’t have a reasonable appreciation of the movie until years later. But about a month later, when I saw my first actual porn movie, a campus screening of Deep Throat sponsored by a local fraternity (just try imagining that being permitted today!), the difference between it and Senses couldn’t have been clearer to me.'

NEVER SCARED: 'This is another way of saying “I dare you to scare me.” The people I’ve heard make this claim weren’t really movie fans— their capacity or willingness to suspend disbelief, to let themselves get carried away by sounds and pictures and react on a purely emotional level, and certainly on an intellectual level, was just not there. So any movie I would recommend automatically had extra work to do to defeat these near-impenetrable defenses. That said, I would still recommend (with as little build-up as possible) two movies to these stalwart souls, and if they could sit through them, under ideal big-screen theatrical conditions, and still claim they were not ever scared, I’d stand up, salute and send them on their merry way, secure and somewhat sad in the knowledge that nothing so crude as a mere movie will ever get under their armored skin. My recommendations would be Robert Wise’s The Haunting and Neil Marshall’s The Descent.'

YOU DON'T LIKE OLD MOVIES?: 'If they are often put off by simple understanding of language, due to the often marked differences in linguistic idioms and means of expression used whenever the movie was made, I might suggest a movie that deals in that very subject-- Howard Hawks' Ball of Fire, for example. If they don't like black and white, I might search for some of the best examples of the use of black and white as a creative choice (noirs like Sunset Boulevard or Out of the Past ), or conversely, examples of old movies that were spectacular because of their use of color. (The Wizard of Oz is an obvious pick, but maybe also one of Anthony Mann’s westerns, say, Bend of the River.) If, however, they are put off of old movies because they don't like to think about an entire film's cast being dead, and can't help imagining these images captured in celluloid and sound as anything other than ghostly reverberations from a bygone age (my wife feels this way sometimes), well, this one is obviously much harder to deal with. The way my wife got around it was to find a dead star that she was interested in, so even if she would inevitably drift toward thinking of the actors as apparitions, there was always the star’s persona to be involved in, and a good story, presumably, as well. Consequently, two old movies my wife has never complained about being populated with dead people were Red River and A Place in the Sun, because there were good stories and Montgomery Clift right there to distract her.'

THIS ISN'T DALLAS, IT'S ...: 'I made my first "favorite movies" list around 1981, and at the top of that list was a movie I neither liked or understood when I saw it the first two times. The third time, however, was a revelation, and after that I saw it several times in my senior year of college-- three times in one day, at the height of my mania. I just made up a list of my 30 Favorite Movies for a German publication and that movie was still at the top of my list, some 26 years after I first realized how much I loved it. The movie: Robert Altman's Nashville.'

TOO MUCH IS NEVER ENOUGH: 'I've always tried to see as many movies as my schedule would allow. In college, this meant jamming in as many as five or six movies in a weekend, and maybe even one or two during the week, not counting the films I was regularly scheduled to see most every Tuesday and Thursday night for the four years I was there. Living and learning in Eugene, Oregon in the late 1970s, it was my mission and that of my close friends to see just about anything and everything that came to town. When I moved to Los Angeles in 1987, six years after I graduated from the University of Oregon, I quickly realized that this mission had become an impossible one-- there was suddenly, instead of five or six theaters and a few drive-ins, hundreds of theaters showing far too much for any one person to ever see in toto-- and the last 20 years has been a long tapering off of that ridiculous standard that I set in my giddy, carefree youth. I ended up seeing a lot of movies in the course of my work as a closed caption and subtitle editor, which I will have been at for 20 years this June, and I still do. But ever since my daughters were born, in 2000 and 2002, there has been less and less time to see movies, either on DVD or in a theater. Nowadays over the course of one month, in addition to the ones I see at work (maybe five or six), I'll see maybe 10-12 on DVD and perhaps two or three on the big screen. I have to be much pickier than ever before about what movies I see theatrically, which makes me even more appreciative of all the good information available from the network of smart bloggers that I read and have become acquainted with regarding which ones to schedule in stone and which ones might be well-advised to pass over.'

BUMPIN' CHAPPELLE: 'As someone who has only the mildest tolerance for hip-hop, I ended up dutifully staying for Dave Chappelle’s Block Party when it unspooled as the late-night second feature at a drive-in last spring. I’ve never been so happy to be surprised and disarmed by a movie, and the music featured within it, as I was by seeing this one. I cranked my car stereo system up to 11 and the movie ended up on my year-end best list for 2006.'

BACK TO SCHOOL: 'It wasn’t central to my decision to pursue a career as a teacher (a career path upon which I am just now embarking), but seeing Nicholas Philibert’s �tre et avoir (To Be and to Have) a couple of years ago helped to rekindle a dormant interest I had in teaching that has now fully reawakened. I want to see this movie again very soon.'

DR. BROWN ON LINE ONE: 'Being of the generation that I am, I would find it almost impossible to resist the opportunity to be transported back to the opening nights, when no one really knew what to expect, of Psycho and The Exorcist. Imagine being the first to be completely gutted by Janet Leigh’s death 50 minutes into Hitchcock’s picture, or trying to refuse the impulse to run away from seeing Linda Blair (and Mercedes McCambridge) do and say things more horrible than you’d ever imagined, let alone thought could ever be portrayed in a movie. I’m assuming, of course, that your question implies an erasure of all of my own awareness of the movies as well, so I could experience the fear of something new, of a new fault line forming in the history of horror movies, along with their original terrified audiences. '

ONE FOR THE BOYS: 'Bad movies can be fun, but they can also get tiresome. However, bad movies that transcend their innate awfulness and become, over time, movies that we actually like because of their deficiencies, well, that seems to me another matter. The premier movie in my experience that went from bottom-of-the-barrel bad to, through repeated pay cable (and video, laserdisc and DVD) screenings, is Franklin Schaffner’s The Boys from Brazil. There are pleasures worthy of guilt in just about any genre you can name, and some, like The Boys from Brazil, are prime examples of strange genre subsets all their own—what other movie so clumsily and without conscience warps historical and political tragedy into the rich narrative manure of pulp science fiction and cheap suspense? James Mason minces about in a fedora and scarf as a Nazi commandant coordinating the post-war cloning experiments of Dr. Josef Mengele (an ossified, shellacked Gregory Peck), while impish Nazi hunter Ezra Lieberman (an Oscar-nominated Laurence Olivier) tracks him down. This is a Sir Lew Grade international prestige production, where all English seems phonetic and overdubbed, so nobody has much of a chance of coming off looking good. But the one who comes off worst is little Jeremy Black, hired to portray at least four of the boys from Brazil, the little Hitler clones who would, if Mengele’s darkest machinations were to see light, each repeat the circumstances of the dictator’s youth and similarly flower into the charismatic power of his tyrannical adulthood. The Internet Movie Database assures me that this is the only time Black’s talents were ever put to use on film, and connoisseurs of Wretched Performances, Youth Division ought to mourn this particularly cruel turn of cinematic fate and regularly revisit his one lasting piece of acting fury. His may be the most astonishingly witless and thoughtlessly unshepherded performance by a child actor in the history of movies. Black’s nasally congested rejoinder to Mengele’s climactic delineation of the nefarious genetic goings-on into which he is inexorably entwined—“Oh, man you’re weird”—is a hallmark of the involuntarily deadpan, and the only sane response to someone who loves this movie as much as I do. When my friends and I saw The Boys from Brazil on its opening weekend, we couldn’t believe it was as bad as it was. Now, all these years later, I’m eternally grateful it was as bad as it was, because it has, for me, become a completely unique creation unto itself, a production whose badness is inseparable from its goodness, whose pleasures would be nonexistent if everyone had done good, solidly crafted, by-the-numbers work. (The one who did, composer Jerry Goldsmith, created a genuinely memorable score.) The Boys from Brazil certainly looks by-the-numbers. But underneath its internationally pedigreed armor beats the heart of a movie that might have been designed and made by authentically unhinged talent. It’s probably the silliest movie on the resume of almost everyone involved in it (well, everyone except Steve Guttenberg), but it has a place in my heart as one of my favorite movies, for every reason, good and bad, that comes spilling off the screen.'

BETTER DAYS: 'On the worst day of my life, date and day and year of which are etched clearly in my mind and forever will be, no movie could have consoled me or taken me away to a place where my concerns could take a back seat to those of the characters on screen. But on everyday bad days before and since (days which are all much less bad than that one was), I yearn to laugh, so either Horsefeathers, 1941 or Monty Python’s The Meaning of Life will fill the bill. Recently, at the end of a very stressful week, I looked at the outtakes on the Borat DVD and felt the pressure virtually melt away. Great comedy should never be undervalued, even though is so often is.'

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